Forbidden Lights (LUMIERE BOOK 2)

Chapter 3

Harry's Pov.

Have you ever think about how shitty life can be?

Sometimes life is beautiful. Sometimes it shines back at you in a way that almost blinds you. And you can't help yourself but feeling loved and desired. You're happy, so happy that you can't even imagine once reached the top, you can just fall down. There is no other way out.

But it's just an illusion. You're just fooling yourself, thinking that nothing can't go wrong. Thinking that life has finally find its balance and that the only thing that you will ever be from now on, is happy. Truly and simply, happy. And life had me fooled better than I thought. She was everything I've ever wanted. I could have given up on everything. On my dreams, my life, my happiness only to have her with me for the rest of my existence.

Her smile, her laugh, her blue eyes and her sassy way of play around with me melt a heart that I thought was long gone. Like my feelings towards life as well. I made her essential to me, I made those, the reason for my living. I had nothing to be thankful for, before Her. Nothing to be Proud of. Only pain, a hole in my heart that couldn't be filled with anything, not even with music.

I barely remember how it was before her. I don't even recall a single day that was worth waking up from bed. I don't remember the sun, back in that life. I only remember rain, heavy rain that fell both on my almost dead body and too broken heart. There was no difference between dreams and reality because both were a kind of nightmare I couldn't escape. I was forced into it, every day with no possibly of redemption for my soul. Not that I wanted one anyway.

Then she showed up, with her silent need of my help and made the clouds go away. she cleared my sky and my mind, giving me back colours. She made all simpler, collecting everything I needed in just one word. Every single thing I couldn't live without, was all inside that simple sound that brought happiness to me only by saying it. Her name. Grace.

She was not only my sun. Grace was my everything and when I felt her slipping out of my heart, the cold came back. and with it, the fears, the dark and that bad side I tried to push away for so long. She both saved and ruined me. She both could have been my chance of redemption and my final damnation. She just needed to stay and everything would have gone right. But what angels gives, devils take away. My life wasn't made for any kind of Happiness. I'm just trying to catch what's left before it's too late. Trying to have her back. because I'm not going down without a fight. The thing is this: when your heart broke, you have two options.

You sit alone and cry yourself to sleep for weeks until you have no more tears to shade or you take the situation in your hands and don't let someone push you away without any apparent reason. The problem here is that I'm kind of really upset right now, because the rage is pulping inside of my arms so much so that I'm shaking and I can't see anything else besides her sweet face and all the things we have done together.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine all those smiles and kindness? All those crying and heart-breaking moments where I basically gave my heart to her so she could do whatever she wanted. And all those times where she, game it to me, telling me about her secrets and her scary past. Can you imagine all those moments, that built up our relationship, as pathetic lies? As the need of a girl who didn't want any of this, any of me because she just wanted to play? Can you?

Because I just can't picture Grace like that. I know what I felt those times, I know they are real and not a stupid text would have made me change my mind. It's just the way she decided to run that pisses me off.

We have been through hell, we fought, we almost broke up, we saved each other and I can't think that was all a lie, all a play she put up because she thought she was in love. I know what she fell for me is real, damn I can feel it in my heart every time she touches me, it's like hearing a tempting melody that force your heart to beat, even if it doesn't want to. That's what kept me alive when I had no reason too. she kept me alive. She was that spark of love I would have moved the world to keep her within me. Like the key for a carillon. You can't lose it, otherwise it will not work.