Sunday came, and with it came the weekly evaluation.
"Chae Hyungwon for his physical examination," a nurse announced in the waiting room outside the doctor's quarters. Shownu had already gone, giving Hyungwon an encouraging smile. Minhyuk had also already gone. He looked a bit tired, but there was a bit of life in his face today that hadn't been there for the past several days.
Hyungwon got up slowly and went through the door the nurse was holding open for him.
"Remove all clothing and place it in the bin," the nurse instructed, and Hyungwon felt his breath catch.
"What-"
"All clothing in the bin. The doctor will be in shortly." She pulled a curtain in front of the door, and Hyungwon heard it shut behind her.
He took a moment to look around. White tiled flooring like the rest of the institution paired with white brick walls. A few faded posters on the wall gave him tips on how to beat bronchitis, identify a hematoma, and prevent artery clogging. Hyungwon's heartbeat was skipping, and he was tempted to read every small print word if it meant delaying the inevitable.
After a moment, however, he forced himself to begin unbuttoning his shirt. The collar was firm, and his fingers struggled for a moment, scrabbling against the smooth surface of the button before gaining traction and releasing it. His fingers trembled as he worked his way down one button at a time, and then his shirt fell open, threatening to spill of his narrow shoulders, and he let it slip, let it fall to the ground.
He stopped for a moment before sliding his pants off, the cool of the room starting to seep into and under his skin. His pants fell to the ground, followed by his underwear, pooling around his thin ankles. He stepped out of them, right foot followed by left. He stood there in his socks for a minute, his socks the only cloth he had on left, the socks the only layer suspending the bare soles of his feet from making contact with the cold floor. Then he stripped those off too. He picked up the discarded clothes in his hands and set them in the bin.
And then he waited, stark naked and utterly vulnerable.
The door opened several minutes later, giving Hyungwon plenty of time to wonder if this room had cameras too, and for what purpose. But then the doctor entered, and his thoughts were blown away like the seeds of a dandelion.
"Chae Hyungwon?"
"Yes," Hyungwon said from the other side, naked, cold.
"Are you fully undressed?"
"Yes," Hyungwon said again. He thought for a fleeting second that maybe it was good that the doctor was asking. Maybe it meant he didn't already know because there weren't cameras in the room. Hyungwon was sick of cameras. They paid more attention to him than anyone else.
The door shut, and the curtain was pushed aside, revealing Hyungwon, hands clasped in front of him in an effort to cover himself. The doctor walked further into the room, a clipboard in his hand, not even looking up. "How are we doing today, Hyungwon?"
Hyungwon shuddered slightly. He hated that phrase, mainly the use of the word we, because we weren't uncomfortable and we weren't cold and we weren't naked, only Hyungwon was. "Fine," he answered shortly, hoping it would speed things along faster.
"Good to hear," the doctor said, still looking down at his clipboard. He was a shorter man, at least a head shorter than Hyungwon, and his belly protruded slightly from his abdomen. He wasn't necessarily portly or overweight, though, merely a bit rounded at the edges. His eyes were small and beady, set slightly back into his face. His hairline was being pushed further and further back like an ocean tide being drawn at the call of the moon, and it was losing every battle to hold its ground on the front concerning his pate. No wedding band on his finger, and given his age, he probably would never wear one. "Since this is your first evaluation, I want to take a minute and explain how this works. Does that sound all right to you, Hyungwon?"
Hyungwon nodded because there wasn't any room for a different answer.
"Good." The doctor shifted. He was wearing a name tag, but it was angled away from Hyungwon so he couldn't make out the whole of the man's name. "Each evaluation has two parts, the physical examination, followed by the psyche examination. The examinations aren't meant to make you feel uncomfortable, but I understand that it can feel like a breach of your privacy. That said, we conduct them weekly to make sure that you're staying health physically while we work on improving and stabilizing your mental state." He gave Hyungwon a smile as though he were confiding a secret. "Don't let anybody tell you that you can get by with one or the other. Often times, they affect each other. Physical exercise has been shown to lead to declined levels of depression, and depression can cause feelings of not wanting to do anything because nothing brings pleasure. In order to help you, Hyungwon, we need to make sure that you're doing well in both fields to give you the best chance at healing and overcoming psychological obstacles. Do you understand?"
Hyungwon nodded. He knew that the doctor probably gave the same speech to everyone, but he couldn't help but feel slightly relieved.
"The first portion is the physical exam. It's like a normal doctor's appointment - we're just making sure you're healthy and in good condition. Then we'll proceed to the psyche exam. We'll be asking you questions to gauge your mental health." The doctor smiled at Hyungwon, a few teeth slightly crooked. "If circumstances change and we or your guardians would like to withdraw you from the program, you have to pass two consecutive evaluations in both the physical and psyche portions. Does that all make sense?"
Hyungwon nodded.
"All right, then let's get started, shall we?"
