how fuckin cute is that gif^
Finally, I got back to the apartment, closing the door quickly behind me. After practice, we'd gotten our grades, and I'd gotten a Distinction*. It was a shame I'd not felt I could celebrate it with anyone. Jane and I were friends, and I thought about going for a drink with her, but not only does she act too different after being drunk, I didn't feel close enough to her to go out. I didn't want to have clean up the aftermath of telling her my life story after my lightweight self let go too much.
Although ecstatic with the outcome, I'd still felt a little disappointed. As a child, I expected so much out of life. Loads of friends, partying all the time... Basically everything polar opposite to myself. I thought I would be popular, and not depressed. I didn't expect to have epilepsy, either. Walking to the couch, I plopped myself and my bag down, exhaling. What would I do? Maybe, if I saved up, I could travel - or just do something beyond staying at home all the time.
My phone rang, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked down to the screen, and caller ID.
Joji.
Immediately answering, I was greeted with complete silence on the other end of the line. "Hello?" I answered, confused.
"Belle..." George sounded upset on the other end. "Can I come over?"
"Sure, but why? What's wrong?"
I didn't get a reply, he had only hung up.
-
He arrived shortly after, the usual bags under his eyes twice the size. I didn't miss a heartbeat in inviting him in, and leading him over to the couch. As soon as he'd called, I had tidied up the living room, and set out a jug of water, as well as two half pint glasses. He threw himself down on the couch, looking depressed.
"What is it?" I asked. I was nervous, I wasn't sure whether it was about one of our mutual friends, or perhaps something wrong with his health.
"My mom and sister left the US. They've moved back to Japan." Part of me had been relieved there was nothing seriously wrong. He and his mom hadn't talked a lot anyway, at least not when I'd known them. They would argue frequently, and he'd always end up coming to mine during the summer and between semesters. There was never a huge reason as to why he'd always leave, she would get mad at him about not doing his dishes, his sister, Ai, would get mad about him blaring music. It always seemed to be his problem, not theirs. Though, I realised his mom hadn't exactly been the nurturing type.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Were you two close again?" I questioned, taking a seat beside him, but facing diagonally to look in his direction.
"No." He paused, glancing around the room, before continuing. "They moved two fucking months ago, and I didn't even know. I travelled down to Boston yesterday, and there was a family in her place. It's dumb I'm even upset about it, I don't think we've spoken in like six months. But, I'd gone down with the intention of seeing her, and Ai. Making up with them. I don't think she wants anything to do with me anymore." He looked nervous, and uneasy.
"She does love you George." I grabbed the jug in front of us, filling a glass of water and thinking to myself. After taking a few sips in silence, I began speaking once more.
"After you left, I went over hers to talk to you about something. She answered the door, crying so much her eyes were swollen. I could hear Ai crying from the kitchen, too. They hated that you left."
He looked to the floor, after coming in, he hadn't looked up at my face once.
"We were never close. But, you know that. That's why I came here. No one else knows about how I really feel... and I don't really have to explain it to you. You just know." It was true, I knew everything about his past. Although majority of the time we'd spent together I'd been unhappy, I remember laying beside him at night, when he couldn't sleep he'd just tell me what was on his mind. Sometimes it had been stupid thoughts, like 'wouldn't dying in the living-room be an ironic death to have?' but sometimes, it had been 'when did my sister start hating me?'.
"This makes no sense, George. What you just said. You can't really think so highly of me, you left and didn't speak to me for four years." I'd been speaking from the heart. There wasn't much of an explanation for that. He'd told me before, it had been because he loved me and din't want to hurt me, but there had to be more to it. I was owed more than that shitty response.
"I had Chloe." I felt a tinge of sadness run through me as I heard her name from his mouth. He'd even written songs in her name. It was so easy to replace me, he'd done it before even leaving. "Fuck," He sighed once more, tearing up. "I had Chloe. She was so perfect." Again, his brown eyes roamed around the room, stopping just before they had met with mine. "I didn't feel guilty about telling her about myself. She knew everything - she knew what I'd done to you, and yet didn't judge me. She got me into therapy, she was there at the doctors appointments. She's the reason I am who I am today."
