Constipated Officer Poopy

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A cold breeze brushed through my hair as doubts swirled in my mind. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and severely illegal, but I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be the popular girl that all the boys liked. I wanted to be the sun of your galaxy, the moon of your stars, and the clouds of your sky. So with only a second of hesitation, I did it. Clouds rolled in, and the light of Christ was gone, as I began to rot in the presence of the devil.

"Hey, you there! In the name of the law, I command you to stop!''

I was caught, to my right, a policeman ran out of the police department, harassing me with words of anger and frustration. I was about to turn and dash into the shadows, but before I could transfer my thoughts from the brain to the rest of my body. I felt a shock and I saw big blue bolts of lightning. Then everything went black.

When I awoke I was in a small room about the size of my mom's grand closet. The room contained few particles such as a long table in the middle of the room with a police officer named Jerry on one end, and me on the other. The queerest thing about the room was the wall facing me was made completely out of glass, it was a mirror. Although I knew people or more specifically police officers were watching me from the other side, it still seemed all too weird to be true. I felt like a caged animal in a zoo exhibit. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.

"Excuse me, Miss, you were caught vandalizing the police station. I need you to fill out these 80 pages. Following that, you will need to sign 10 pages. To conclude this torment, as most teenagers call it, your parents will sign 10 'long' pages and will spend 3 'terrifying' hours consoling with the sheriff."

"What! I don't have time for this nonsense. Besides, aren't you a little young to be an officer?" Janey  noticed for the first time the features of the man across from her. He had short brown hair, an ironed uniform, and a cleanly shaven face. Plus he looked far too young to be an officer. By the looks of it, Jani guessed that he was about 20 years old.

"It's 3:00 in the morning. You could clear your sleeping schedule. It's not too big of a sacrifice. What you should be fussing over is your 2 weeks in juvie. You young lady are in for a treat."

"If in a treat you mean a total disaster, then yes, I am in for an enjoyable treat. And you still didn't answer my question."

"I am 23, which is a great age for an officer I believe. They are young, agile, and have at least a year or two of experience. Now, calm down." Officer Jerry must have seen the angered expression on my face. After all, I am not too well at hiding my expressions. "It's not the end of the world. Now get started on those papers, and what are your folk's phone number?"

"224-8763, but don't expect them to catch on quickly."

"Parents never do. Now get to work young lady."

"I am not that much younger than you. You can not call me young lady!" I am pretty sure I spat all over him, which is a little embarrassing because he was not that bad looking himself.

"Fine, Miss. Oakson. How's that?" He challenged, but then walked out of the room before Jani could respond with a nasty threat.

Do I feel bad for lying to that rotten corpse? Of course not. He gave me 90 pages to fill out. Not to mention that 2 weeks in juvie. I have a greater eternal hatred towards him than my mom does for spaghetti. He is what I call a dirty rotten spaghetti eating torturer.

After about 30 minutes of filling out papers Police officer, Dofus came back to unleash his tormenting words of anger, hoping to vanquish whatever was left of my hopeful heart. "Young lady, that phone number you gave me belonged to the beloved sheriff, not you're wretched no good guardian."

"How do you know the sheriff isn't my legal guardian?" As a result of that sentence, officer poopy gave me a look that was supposed to say I'm not stupid, but instead it just looked like he's constipated. "Ok fine, my legal guardian is not the sheriff. It's an outstanding, amazing president. Although, I don't know where I got my good looks from, because he ain't got em."

"Is this some kind of game to you? First, you vandalize a police station, and now you're lying to a federal officer, which is a felony. Young lady, you are in huge trouble. Let's double that 2 weeks in juvie shall we? And say hello to one week in the nursing home."

"What! There is no way I am spending the rest of my summer serving those barbarians! I have plans!"

"First off those barbarians are your respected elders. Second of all your plans are going to have to wait. Juvy and your elders come first, whether you like it or not. Now your parent's correct phone number, please."

"Fine, whatever. (435) 189-8328. For the record, this is so unfair. I can't believe that you cops are allowed to do such terribly cruel things to a real live human being. I may be harsh, but I am a person too you know?"

"Life isn't fair. Now get engaged in those papers."

"You act like your punishing me for stealing a cookie when really you are basically sentencing my life and summer to be a servant of Satan himself."

"If you didn't vandalize the police station we wouldn't be here, to begin with. It's your own actions that brought this upon you, I am just the one delivering your verdict. The law is law, and you broke it so you will deal with whatever consequences come after." And with that, the officer left the room leaving me with nothing more than my thoughts from the remnants of our previous conversation and the papers waiting to be written upon.

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