Cataclysm (Sequel to Wanderlust) (Kellic)

Chapter 3

I changed the description for this fic a little to make it fit better, so you might want to check that.

Also: I haven’t updated this in like six days, but on the upside I posted Part 1 of a two-shot called Victim to Villain, so there’s that. woo.

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Chapter 3 - Playing With My Head

The guilt hits me before I even open my eyes. Somehow I just know, right at the moment that I come back into consciousness, where I am and who I’m with and what happened last night to get me in this situation. And I hate it.

I hate it because here I am again, nothing but Craig’s fuck buddy, doing whatever he says because my tongue is apparently unable to form the word “no”, because part of my mind still doesn’t even want it to…because after all this time, I’m still attached to him.

I get dressed and drag myself out of the bed before Craig even wakes, and I leave while he’s still asleep and unaware. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m thinking, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I’m still unhappy. It’s that I’ve been unhappy since before I even met Kellin. It’s that everything is fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it.

—

"Vic, I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure Craig’s lying about dumping his boyfriend."

This is what Jaime says to me as we’re sitting out on the front porch swing. He just came home from work and found me out here smoking, so he sat down next to me, which is when I told him about what happened last night.

"What do you mean?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. It wouldn’t be the first time Craig has lied to me, but I can’t help but automatically feel defensive.

He sighs. “As I was driving home, I saw them making out on a bench.”

At this point, it really shouldn’t feel like I’ve been punched in the face—but, of course, it does. “Are you sure it was them?”

Jaime nods. “Oh, yeah. I even slowed down a little just to make sure—they were too busy to notice me. They had the same tattoos and everything.”

I shake my head. “But he said…”

"Did you really believe him, Vic?”

I stand up. “He wouldn’t—he said—you’re lying.” Deep down, I know he’s not lying, but my mind is scrambling for an excuse, and that’s the best that it seems to be able to come up with.

"I’m not lying, Vic," Jaime says. "You know I’m not. I’m your best friend, dammit. I just want to help you with this, and I didn’t want to keep that a secret from you. I’m sorry."

"He’s…" At that point, my mind drifts back to something Craig whispered to me last night, words that sent my heart racing, and I’m not sure if it was in a good way or a bad way or maybe a little bit of both.

I still love you, Vic. You know that? You’re so much better than anyone else. You’re the only one I need.

I know how much he lies and cheats, but he sounded so fucking serious when he said it, so fucking honest. I think I wanted to believe it. I think I still do.

"But why would he do that?" I ask softly, sitting back down. "Why would he date me for so long, and then just break up with me all of a sudden, and then try to get me back, and keep flipping back and forth between wanting me and not wanting me and making out with some other guy and making out with me and telling me he loves me?"