Reduced to Ruin

Chapter 31

I hardly slept that night. All I kept thinking about was Alexis. And about where James and I stood. I was afraid I was in deep trouble, but I hadn't done anything. Where was the fairness in that?

         He's just scared, Sophia told me.

         He was afraid I was going to run, just like Alexis, and he was always going to think that. I would never be his equal, like Dr. Manning thought of Sophia. I was always going to be the pretty canary trapped in the cage, only let out on a whim to flit around the room before shoved back in.

         And I was never getting home.

         I made some strong coffee and decided to stay in my pajamas. I had a feeling James wasn't going to expect me to work out that morning. As I was sipping my coffee at the dining room table and contemplating the night before, James came in. My heart leapt to my throat.

         "Good morning," he said, solemnly.

         I didn't reply. He made himself a cup of coffee and made his way to the table across from me. I couldn't bear to look at him.

         "Listen," he said softly, "I owe you an apology for last night. I panicked when Alexis disappeared, and I didn't handle the situation very well. I—" His voice trailed off.

         My thumb went around and around the rim of my coffee cup. We both sat silently, lost in our own thoughts.

         "You're never going to trust me, are you?" I whispered. I wiped away the first forming tears, trying to keep my composure, but failing miserably.

         "Corrine . . . "

         "Be honest with me, James. Is this it? Is this how it's always going to be? Are you never going to trust me like Dr. Manning trusts Sophia?"

         Giving life to those words brought on hot tears. I couldn't believe I was being so straight-forward.

         "I'm sorry. I—I don't know. I don't know what the future holds for us, and I don't want to make a promise I may not be able to keep."

         "But, is it even possible? I mean, I've done nothing but obey your every command for months now. I thought things were going so well. I feel so close to you," I lied. "I feel like I could be perfect for three years straight, and you still won't trust me."

         He put his hand on my forearm.

         "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

         "I'm not going anywhere, James. Even if you left the front door wide open and gave me your car keys." That part was true. I'd never try a house escape again. "You have to trust me." I cried into my hands.

         James told me everything by saying nothing in return.

*  *  *

         I spent the next few days sulking and staying in the apartment. Every time James invited me downstairs, I declined, mainly to punish him. I knew James felt terrible about how he treated me. I intended to use that to my advantage. My goal was to shame him into more freedom. Or at least, trust me more.

         On the third day after the incident, James joined me for a workout, but it just wasn't the same anymore. Even though I knew I was going to play this to my advantage, the tension was killing me.

         Halfway done with my run, James suddenly pushed the off button on the treadmill. I practically hit the console at full-speed.

         "Hey, what did you do that for?" I huffed.