Crack on crack. A collection of unrelated short stories where I expunge my kreative juices. No I don't know what expunge means anymore but I'm pretty sure it's an SAT word.
Captain James Tiberius Kirk sat in his chair, flicking through his futuristic iPad.
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The USS Enterprise had just left Planet Zika Virus after a successful mission to secure peaceful relations with the planet's thicc leaders.
"Captain, we are 15,000 light years away from the nearest planet, I expect we will reach our stopover in approximately two days,"his First Officer informed him.
"Thank you Commander Spock," Said Kirk, turning his eyes back to the device on his lap. For the hundredth time that day, Kirk resisted the urge to call him ¨Commander Cock¨and giggled to himself in muted tee hees.
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He had just gotten a notification from the futuristic Facebook messenger. A simple glance at the profile told him that he did not know this person. But for some reason, his heart raced.
Clicking on the message, he got a good look at the profile picture. It was of an Indian man, posed next to a microphone.
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Who was this golden chocolate siren? Why did his pure dark orbs penetrate him so?
Kirk yearned for more. He saw the message.
"HaLoW, gud mOrnIng cAptIon kiRk." The message was accompanied by a low quality gif of a rose held by an animated fox.
A single tear slid down Jim Kirk's face. Everyone always asked him how his morning was, but nobody ever told him to have a good morning.
"Been busy, but I'm good. And yourself?"
The brown god's reply was instantaneous.
"It's mY lYfe wHat Ever i WanA dO"
Kirk had never heard something so profound.
"What is your name? I must know you name!"
"I M Vennu Mallesh. Ar U a wELL wIsHer or a hELL wIsHeR?"
A quick look at Vennu's profile explained it all. A well wisher was a fan, a "hell wisher" was what Vennu dubbed his haters.
Kirk didn't understand who could possibly hate on Vennu. It just made no sense.
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"Vennu, I'd like to get to know you better," said James Tiberius Kirk. "Please tell me about yourself."
Vennu typed out a long paragraph:
"I am a day dreamer I am a night worker I am a risk taker I am a self-blamer I am a brain eater I am a heart stealer I am a mind reader I am a truth finder I am a smart cheater I am a pain killer I am a good teacher I am a perfect learner I am a backbencher I am a new sencer I am a kids lover I am a soul builder I am very anger I know it's very danger I am my life driver I am a routine changer I am a rules breaker I start a new chapter"
Astounded, Captain Kirk read over the messages again and again. This Vennu guy was making him doubt his sexuality, and his grasp of the English language.
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——————————————————————————————————————— A/n; more to come if i feel like it idk.
Also the paragraph is a direct quotation from Vennu Mallesh's hit song called "It's my life, whatever I wanna do." Please do check it out, it's a work of art.
