Out of Control ✔

SEVENTEENTH CHAPTER

Angel had wrapped his arms so tightly around her that she could barely breathe – he felt more like a human prison instead of a brother who had been missing his sister a lot. A little uncomfortable with the confinement she briefly closed her arms around him in hopes that would make him loosen his hold. As she encircled him the only thought that crossed her mind, was that Zeke hadn't made any move to touch her. That felt better.

After a while Angel pulled back. His eyes wandered across her face; the hurt and incomprehension was all she could read on his face. Apparently he felt her betrayal so deeply that he wouldn't allow himself to feel a spark of happiness in this moment.

"You got anythin' to say?" His eyebrows pulling together, transforming his face into a dark frown.

She shrugged a shoulder. "Not really."

Suddenly he grabbed her chin, staring her intensely in the eye. "What the hell happened to you? I don't even recognize the person I see anymore. Do you remember me at all?"

His grip on her chin made her feel uncomfortable, his dark eyes reminding her of her father. Out of reflex, she pushed him away, her knee catching him between his legs. As he doubled over, she took advantage of his loosened grip and ran. To her right was Cruz, so she went to the left, dodging her younger brother with a swift feint.

Juanita cursed the fact that the streets were so empty, that meant the men could easily see where she was going. Panting, she dove into a small alley, jumped over a fence and kept running.

She didn't want her life to change. She liked the way things were.

In the distance she heard the rumbling of bikes. She climbed over another wall, then she reached another alley. Right when she turned to leave the small passage, she smacked into someone.

"You really think ya know this town better than me, chica?" Cruz huffed.

Juanita didn't answer. Instead, she looked around to see if her brothers were around too. They must have split up.

"I'm usually not a violent man, but if you try to run again I'm not gonna hesitate in takin' ya down."

She gritted her teeth. Nothing gave her the impression that he was lying. She needed more time; she needed to try something different so she changed tacts. "Let me tell you my story. Then it'll be up to you to decide what you wanna do. I left home to protect 'em."

Cruz looked skeptically at her. "Lets hear it then."

Hmm, he capitulated a little too easy. Juanita had no doubts that he was still planning to lock her up until Angel was around, but it was a risk she needed to take. After all, there weren't many other options. Maybe she would find a way out of this mess if he took her home.

With a jerk of his head, he motioned over his shoulder ordering her to sit on his bike. A nagging feeling arose in her stomach when she climbed on behind him, laying her hands on his hips.

. . .

As the ride passed Juanita did not a have a single excuse come up to mind. She soon found herself sitting in a chair with Cruz across from her and decided that it was time to tell him the truth. The moment he caught her in a lie, he would no longer have any sympathy for her anyway.

"On the day my mother died... I was there, I saw the killer," she started. "Or at least I caught a glimpse of him. He was younger than me. Around fourteen. It didn't look like a robbery, I think it was about revenge." She looked up to Cruz. With a nod he encouraged her to continue. "Zeke kept talking about an adult male, but I'm sure he was still a boy. I never told him about the kid, I didn't want him to know that he killed a cop chasing the wrong guy. I'm not sure if that guy had nothing to do with it, but I am positive that he wasn't the shooter." She was silent for a moment. She had never talked about what happened that day and it wasn't easy to decide how much she wanted to share, what parts she wanted to keep to herself. "Anyway, I guess long story short... I went to my dad to tell him what I had seen and in the end I found out that he had been working for the cartel. It wasn't rocket science to conclude that there had been some messed up shit he had to do. He killed innocent people. Men. Women." She glanced at his blank face. His dark brown eyes however gave a little insight in the countless things that were crossing his mind. At least she could see that there was no disbelief in them. "My mom's death had been some sort of retaliation. I have a feeling that my dad killed that kid's mother, making him look to a way to cause the same pain on the killer's family – an innocent life for an innocent life. I confronted my father with my theory. He answered by beating the shit outta me, saying that he wasn't responsible for my mom's death and that I was crazy." Her jaw tensed. "But I knew he was lying."

Cruz leaned back a little. "Then why all the mystery? Why run? Why didn't you go tellin' this to your hermanos?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Because it would destroy them. It destroyed me, Cruz, knowing the horrible things he had done. He should have died that night, instead of my mom. Knowing the truth fuckin' hurt," she stressed. "I don't want 'em to feel the same. It ain't gonna change what happened anyway. What's done is done."

"They should get their sister back," Cruz answered. "Knowing what you father did, you really believe he deserves a family while you don't? Don't you think if they knew they' rather lose him instead of you?"

Juanita bent her head. She wasn't sure she wanted to find out the answer to that question.

"I don't want it," she muttered eventually. "I don't want that family back."

"I think you're lying, chiqui. I think you want your family back, but that you're too afraid they ain't gonna forgive you. Because to them it ain't your father who tore your family apart, it's you."

"Maybe," she mumbled, hating the fact that he could read her so easily.

"You gotta face the facts, chica. Your familia is fucked up anyway. But honestly? I think you're punishin' the wrong ones with this. Just like the kid that killed your mom...Just like your dad did."

Wildly, she looked up. "You're a fucking asshole for comparin' me to 'em."

"Yeah," he answered calmly. "But that ain't makin' it any less true."

. . .

Hey all! Let me know what you think of it, I love to hear from you! Votes and comments are very appreciated!

Also, I started a new SOA story in which the Mayans will play an important role. I think I'll focus on the Oakland charter, but who knows were my muse will take me. ;) It's called "Roomies", so go check it out! <3