Blind Date S.M

twenty two

*Chloes POV*

"Theres a customer." Bella says, nodding toward the counter.

"I'll get them." I say, leaving the conversation and going to the register.

It was shawn. I was quick to make sure that I still smiled. I wanted him to know that I am doing great. Even though I'm really not. I miss him. And he was on tour, and I couldn't ever see him. And then when the senorita video came out I realized what I saw. It was never really him cheating at all. Did he use me to write the song though? Maybe, I'll never really know I guess. But I like to think he wouldn't do that, but I guess I'll have to live with not knowing.

"Hey, what can I get you?" I ask. He orders his coffee and I give it to him and tell him to have a good day. It was no different then any interaction i would have with a stranger. But part of me wishes that when he walked out, he would turn around and beg for me to come back. But it didn't happen. I know he has moved on. And I need to learn to live with that, and do the same myself.

Why do I keep falling for someone I can't have? I was silly to think that someone like him would ever love me. He deserves so so SO much better then me. And I hope he gets it. But at the same time, I want him to want me. I want him to feel the same way about me that I feel about him.

Or maybe not, maybe I just want closure. I want an answer to the questions I've been asking myself for months. Like when I told him to leave on the last night I saw him, did he know I wouldnt see him again? Or did he have another trick up his sleeve to see me again? But really, he didn't try to stay, was he really that sure that we were not meant to be, that he just left?

Did he stay up late at night wondering if he could have done something different to make us work? Because I did. I always think about what I could have done differently. Or maybe we weren't meant to be.

Did he try to move on? I went on a few dates, but none of them were serious. I just wanted someone to replace shawn, and after a few dates, I learned that no one can replace him (hehe aftertaste reference).

But I strongly believe that people who love each other but still don't work were the right people at the wrong time. And if you are supposed to be together there will be signs.

Authors note: sorry this is so short. But also rest in peace Cameron boyce. He was my childhood.