together forever -- sophitz

[keefe's pov] i can't let go

K E E F E ' S   P O V

I'm with Biana. We're all well aware of that fact. 

There was just one problem. Sophie.

Fitz and her were a great match. They were perfect, just like me and Biana. However, after everything me and Sophie had been through, I felt like...

She should've been with me. 

I love the way she starts tearing out her eyelashes when she's stressed. I love the way she fiddles with the many necklaces she has. I love the way she cares so deeply about everyone, and how she wants to change the world- the world that people thought was perfect, but turned out full of flaws. I love how when she smiles, her whole face lights up. I love her.

Every time I see her with Fitz, it's like a little part of me breaks off and floats into a void of darkness. Every time she laughs at one of his jokes, or blushes when he says something dirty, or hugs him like he's the only person in existence, or smiles when he sneaks in a kiss or two, or telepathically communicates with him when she needs someone to talk to; it all makes me angry and sad at the same time.

I should be the one doing all those things. But I'm not. And I can't let go.

Because love is a horrible thing.

It twists and changes and hurts you. 

But I've become addicted to it, no matter how much it wounds me. 

Alas, I spend all my days I should be with Sophie, with Biana. I spend all my days targeting my anger- and occasionally, hate- at my best friend, who basically became a brother to me.

It's not like I'm using Biana. I like her; she's a great person, with a great heart. Biana definitely knew how to joke around and flirt- and tease. 

I just had too many emotions bottled up, and I-

"KEEFE!" someone's voice yelled. It brought me back to reality.

I looked around, remembering where I was. The whole squad was here in Everglen, lounging around.

"Sorry, I just blanked out for a second." I replied to Dex, who had yelled in my face.

I caught a glimpse of Sophie and Fitz cuddling while talking to Tam and Lihn, watching as Fitz tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. I watched as her face turned slightly pink, and watched as Fitz and her shared a look and smiled. 

Goddamn it, these emotions were going to tear me apart.

The jealousy, the love, the heartbreak, the pain.

I had to leave. I needed air. 

So I got up and left.

I heard Tam say, "What crawled up his ass?" as I left, but I didn't care. Not right now.

By now, I had memorized the way out of Everglen. It was basically my house. 

I got out of the walls that were crushing me, and I sat down, tearing the purple grass out to help with my frustration. 

I lost track of time, watching the sun set, turning the sky into a beautiful painting of red, pink, orange, yellow, purple, and blue. 

It wasn't until someone sat next to me that I realized how late it was. I turned, seeing Biana sitting next to me, staring at the sky like I was moments before.

"Biana, I-" 

She cut me off. "Keefe, there's no need to tell me anything. I've seen the way you look at her. I know you love her. And I know you always will. It's not your fault, nor is it her fault. You don't need me to tell you that. And honestly, I don't care. Because I've seen what love does. I'm telling you this as a friend, not a girlfriend. Love won't do what you tell it to do. Love can make you angry, full of hate, jealous, and sad. At the same time, however, it can make you happy, hopeful, and calm. It's your choice to make- you can live the hurtful life of love, or you can accept life and be at peace. Just make sure that whatever you choose, whoever you choose, makes you feel worth living. Make sure that whatever happens, you would want to defeat it with them by your side. Keefe, Sophie's happy. She chose that love-filled life with my brother- your best friend. Promise me you'll make that choice- whenever it is and whoever it is with, even if it's not Sophie." 

I looked at her. Her words fluttered into my heart, filling it up with some sort of.. different emotion. 

I looked at her, but in a different way. And I realized that I had come to a decision- a decision I know will make me and my heart happy forever. 

I closed my eyes. I sucked in a deep breath. Sophie was happy with Fitz. Fitz was happy with Sophie. And when I opened my eyes, I let go of her. 

And I took Biana and put her in my heart. And my heart responded in the best way possible. 

I felt love. Pure and endless love. Different from what I felt towards Sophie.

This love was genuine. 

I love the way her face scrunches up with laughter, and how her eyes brighten when she talks about the things she loves. I love the way she's so determined to protect those she loves the most. I love how she never lets anything faze her. I love how she never stops acting bold and brave, but when she's alone, she lets it all out. I love how she knows what to say whenever I need it. I love the way she glued the pieces of my broken heart back together.  I love her.

I took Biana's hand, tangling it with mine, and we both watched the sun set.

I was finally at peace. 

hOLY  SHIT that was almost 1k words 

that was so much deeper than I expected it to be

hopefully you guys liked it

I wanted to add some sort of closure to the sokeefe thing because I felt like it wasn't addressed, and I also felt like we needed some character development lmao 

so yeah sorry for the keefe-biana thing even though this is a sophitz book

and I also cleaned up the book (basically removed the a/ns and not-chapters) and I changed the chapter titles so they look better lololol 

love you guys