When Life Sucks

Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Amira

Runaway. That's what I have been doing all my life. When I know that I can't do anything to make up for something, I leave it as it is. When I know I can't beat the opponent, I just turn my back and walk away. It is always included in every decision I make. It's the easiest way to live and to move on.

"Leave, Amira," Archeon whispered again. "You can't win this fight anymore. This is the only way I can help you."

Natulala ako sa kanyang mga mata. That's what I should also do now, run away and leave no trace. This is just like one of the fights I've had before and the only remedy is to leave it as it is and forget that it happened.

Lumunok ako. "I will..." I whispered.

Ngumiti siya. "I am grateful to be with the same lifetime as you, Amira. Pinahanga mo ako. You showed me how to fight. Damn. Idol na nga kita eh. You were all whatI could never be."

Naramdaman kong tumulo sa mga mata ko ang luha. Mabilis na tumihaya ako at binalingan na lang ng tingin ang mga bituin sa kalangitan. Ramdam kong nakasunod sa akin ang tingin ni Archeon.

"You are a fighter, Amira," he said. "But you can't win the battle all the time and that's fine. Just keep on fighting."

With my trembling lips, I said, "I am not a fighter. Never been one. Don't look up to me that high. I don't want to disappoint you."

Narinig ko ang mahina niyang pagtawa. "That's not the Amira I know."

I closed my eyes. "She never existed at all."

That Amira was just a manipulation of who I wanted to be. I was never true to myself. It was all for a show. Lahat ng katangian ng babaeng 'yon ay kabaliktaran ng kung sino talaga ako. It saved me anyway. There's no regret in that.

"Uwi na tayo." Tumayo na si Archeon. Pinagpagan niya ang sarili bago naglahad ng kamay sa akin. In my view, he seems one of the stars above. A star that is reaching out to me. A star that's offering me a lift.

Tatanggapin ko na sana ang kamay niya nang bigla niya itong iniiwas. "Smile first," he ordered.

"I don't need your help anyway," pagsusungit ko.

Tatayo na sana ako nang naglahad uli siya ng kamay. "Hirap mong kausap. Tara?" natatawa niyang saad.

Sa pagkakataong 'yon ay nahawakan ko na ang kanyang kamay. Inalalayan niya akong makatayo. Pareho kaming nagpagpag dahil may kaunting damo na dumikit sa damit namin. Hindi ko maiwasang titigan si Arch habang nagpapagpag siya, kitang-kita ang saranggola na tattoo sa braso niya.

"Bakit saranggola din ang ginusto mong tattoo?" tanong ko.

Tumigil siya sa pagpagpag at bumaling ng tingin sa braso niya. "Para partner tayo."

"Maliban doon?" Nagtaas ako ng kilay.

"Hmmm..." Humawak pa siya sa baba niya habang nag-iisip. "Mahilig kaming magpalipad ni Rich ng saranggola dati. I hope that makes sense now."

Napatango naman ako. "I see..."

Nag-umpisa na kaming maglakad, dahan-dahan lang. May malaking pagitan sa gitna namin.

"How about you?" he asked.

Nanatiling sa harap ang tingin ko. "Maganda," tipid kong sagot.

"Deeper, babe."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napatingin sa kanya. Walang reaksyon ang mukha niya. Okay. Mukhang ako lang ang nagbigay ng ibang meaning sa sinabi niya.