Jaebum

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Song: Eclipse by Got7

"Hi, Youngjae." Yugyeom was genuinely surprised that he didn't need to bang on the door, considering that things between them were worse than the last time. In the doorway, the two boys simply looked at eachother. For weeks there hadn't been a single one-on-one conversation between them, causing neither to know what to say in that moment. Ending the debate in his mind, Youngjae decided to act casually. "Come on in." "No need, I probably won't be that long." Realizing the malice in his words, Yugyeom looked down in shame. "Um, alright then. Was there something you needed?" Smiling at his friend, Youngjae genuinely wanted to fix things between the two of them, he just didn't know how. "I kissed (Y/N)." Widened with shock, Youngjae's eyes bore into Yugyeom's, hoping that it was a lie. "Yugyeom, what the fuck?" His words were laced with sadness and betrayal. "How could you? That's my girlfriend." "I know, it just happened." Breaking eye contact with the ground, Yugyeom looked into Youngjae's eyes, trying to display his sincerity. "Come inside." "No." "Come inside." "No! We haven't talked in weeks, Youngjae. I'd forgotten what I was even holding back for because you hate me so much! So why would I come in, to pretend that we've been friends the whole time, because we haven't!" "We'll always be friends! I've been ignoring you because things went wrong, yes, but that doesn't change what we've been through." Tears springing from his eyes, Yugyeom couldn't help but fall into his friends arms. Snow raining down behind them, they held eachother in the entryway.

"Proud of yourself?" (Y/N) had been watching with a smile as Youngjae and Yugyeom laugh together when JB appeared next to her. "What do you mean?" "You fixed what you started. I like you, I really do, but sometimes I wonder what things would be like if we never met you." Looking up at her friend, (Y/N) couldn't deny that she was hurt, but she'd shared those exact same thoughts. If anyone had the right to voice them, it was the person who was trying to hold it all together. "As much as it's your fault, it's theirs even more. Those two really let a girl almost break us apart. You're just barely different from every other girl, so I wonder how everything we've been through was putty in your hands." Now the hurt was in his eyes as they narrowed towards the boys who'd just recently made up. Directing his gaze to (Y/N), he was going to continue before he saw her gloomy expression. His features softened at the sight before turning away. "That was pretty mean, my bad." "No, continue. You've been trying your hardest all this time, so it's only fair that you say how you feel." "Let's just drop it."  The conversations for the next couple of weeks between the two of them consisted of similar words, always being dropped once Jaebum thought he'd gone too far. There was barely any time before winter break, and the young man was scared. Youngjae and Yugyeom had made up, but for how long. While talking to (Y/N) at lunch, this concern managed to slip. Saying he needed air,  JB excused himself from the lunchroom and (Y/N) followed.

"Are you planning to fix me next, because I don't need you to." Leaning on the railing he never made eye contact with his friend. "What are you talking about?" "Don't think I haven't noticed. Everyone talks to you one time and suddenly they feel like superman. I wasn't able to do that for them. You broke us and built us up again." "You brought everyone together, didn't you?" "No. It was an interest meeting for parents. The school organized it so that there would be carpool options and stuff for when everyone went to highschool. Our parents introduced us and mine said that I should have a meetup with everyone who would come here. Six people came. So I didn't do anything." Though JB's gaze never faltered, (Y/N) approached him and mirrored his actions. "You made everyone closer. You gave them a safe space. You took away any loneliness they could've felt." "I know." He didn't know. "I ruined everything." "Yeah, you did. So easily. All that I was able to do was bring a few people together, so of course someone could take them apart. Y'know it wasn't just Youngjae and Yugyeom. The day you talked to Jackson everyone was just screaming at eachother and there was nothing I could do." "How did you know I talked to Jackson?" "One day he was fighting off tears and the next his smile was brighter than ever. Just like Jinyoung and BamBam. You talked to Mark too, didn't you?" "Yes..." "Figured. It was the same way with him. I know these guys inside out but when they were at their lowest I couldn't do anything." Taking her eyes off of the sky, (Y/N) turned to JB, searching for his eyes that his hair covered. "I didn't even notice that the boys changed, I felt like I was just grasping at straws to fix what I fucked up. Just like you said, you know them each inside out, and you're still the only one that does." "I know, but what does that do when in an instant everything can just fall apart again. These guys are like my brothers but I can't even protect them." His voice cracking, Jaebum's head fell. "Why do you doubt that? You've done nothing but protect them everyday and we all know it! Things happen, but that will never take away from what you've done." Pushing himself away from the railing, JB glared at (Y/N), the cold winter wind pushing his hair in another direction now. "Just like you said, I brought us all together so when it all crashes down it'll be on me! Every negative feeling that comes out of this is on me, it's all my responsibility because I pulled them into this!" Turning to face him, Jaebum and (Y/N) were shouting at eachother on the rooftop. "This sense of responsibility you're feeling is stupid, Jaebum! You know why? Because you feel it towards everyone except yourself! So then what if everything does fall apart? You'll be feeling worse then all of them because all that you're going to be left with, is you." Chuckling, Jaebum broke eye contact and bit the inside of his cheek. "Practice what you preach, how 'bout?" "What are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about, (Y/N). Why didn't you kiss Yugyeom back? Was it because you had a boyfriend, or was it because Youngjae was your boyfriend? How about what you said before? You're only technically at fault but you feel like you need to fix everything to atone for it, right? You wanted them to stop fighting over you a few months ago didn't you, didn't you?! But because they couldn't stop it and because Yugyeom would be sad and alone you let it keep happening. Face it, (Y/N), you and I are moving the exact same so you don't get to lecture me about a thing!" Jaebum has read (Y/N) like a book. As he moved closer to her she stepped back, desperately wracking her brain for any way that it wasn't true. He was right. Grabbing her hand, JB stopped (Y/N) from moving away any further. "At least not yet. We both know what we're doing wrong, so let's just get better. I'll manage you and you'll manage me. We can get through this, do better than this, if we keep eachother on track, alright?" Blinking away the tears that pricked at her eyes, (Y/N) encaptured Jaebum in a hug that he would return. Silently, in the biting cold, they were one another's greatest source of warmth. Their embrace solidified a promise to trust another person with their darkest moments, their insecurities. It solidified a promise to themselves. Pulling away, Jaebum placed both of his hands on (Y/N)'s shoulders. "As your new legal guardian, I'm declaring that your first step is to ignore everything about Youngjae and Yugyeom, and just pick whoever you want to." "Well as yours, I'm telling you that no matter what happens, you should let the consequences of their actions be theirs and not yours too." When (Y/N) stuck her tongue out at him as punctuation, Jaebum couldn't help but laugh. Slinging an arm around her shoulder, they walked back inside. "Yeah, I guess that's fair."

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