mamma mia | jeremy jordan

25. nobody did

Precisely two weeks later, Ana brought up Jeremy's name in a conversation with Ben over dinner.

Within that time frame, Ana had been devoting a small chunk of her time to Jeremy, quite like old times. What made it different to last time was the lack of sexual relations between the two adults.

Ana had gifted Jeremy with brand new headshots, numbers of managers in the city- courtesy of her boss, who had many connections. She began to replace the darkness in his life with small chunks of lights- puzzle pieces of laughter and cups of coffee at their cafe.

He had been continuously reminding Ana to talk to Ben about himself, but she felt much too fearful for what her boyfriend might say. Perhaps it would be a jealous, snide comment, or a very valid cuss word or two for the man's name.

But that day, Ana had been at lunch with Jeremy and he gave her a drawled speech about his lost best friend. Her heart ached at the broken words and she forced herself to invite her boyfriend over for dinner.

And then she did it.

"Have you talked to Jeremy?"

Ben choked on a piece of chicken, and Ana clasped a hand over her face when she snorted.

"Oh- are you okay?"

Ben wriggled away from Ana's outstretched hands. He nodded wildly, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Do you need some water?"

"I'm fine!" Ben tossed the napkin he had had balled up in his fist onto the table.

It went silent for longer than one or two moments. Ana stared at her hands, gripped together in her lap, as her knuckles changed color from red to white. Ben gently set down his fork and knife and wiped the back of his hand against his forehead.

"Have you talked to Jeremy?"

Ana's bottom lip wobbled as she stuttered out an 'mhm.' She hated herself for turning to crying when in distressful situations such as someone yelling at her, but she couldn't help it. It was an instinct at this point.

"When?"

Ana took a deep breath, "Ben, I'm really sorry. I never intended to begin speaking to him again, but I just felt like I needed to and- he's doing better, Ben! When I went to see him, he wasn't drunk off his ass with self-pity!"

"Ana, I'm only going to say this once because you have little to no idea about what was going on when you two were a thing: Jeremy is a cheater, in more than one way. He cheated on his wife, he cheated me, he cheats everyone. He cheated you, Ana! He manipulated your feelings and used you so he could get over his wife without beer!" Ben's voice didn't raise all that much, but his tone seriously scared Ana.

"Ben, please, just let me-"

"No, Ana, you don't understand. You're never going to understand."

"But, I do understand, Ben. I understand that Jeremy made some mistakes, but who doesn't? You make mistakes all the time."

"Please, give me an example."

Ana thought hard, but all she came up with was: "Remember last week? You accidentally spilled red wine all over my white blouse. That was- that was," her voice wavered as she realized how half-witted she sounded, "a mistake."

Ben quickly stood from the table, "Ana, I know that you want to help him. Believe me, I tried. I tried really, very hard. But he was helpless. He very well maybe still helpless."

"But, he's not, he's doing so well!"

"People don't change that quickly Ana. It's called a curve in his character. He's having a good week-"

"Ben! Please, just let me talk, for once!" Ana backlashed, causing Ben to take a step back as she stood up. Her tiny hands were balled into fists and she was breathing heavily. "I know that you struggled to help Jeremy get better, and I know that you gave up because it was so hard and he didn't want to get better. But, I promise you, he is so much better now. He's been better for nearly a month now. When I visited him, he was trying, actually trying, but he just needed someone there to support him, which is what I did. And now, now he misses his best friend and he just wants to make everything better again, not just himself. He wants to see you, Ben. Please. Just go see him."

Ana whimpered when she had finished telling Ben all she had welled up in her chest and a few years rolled down her chin. Ben frowned deeply and carefully took her into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry," he mumbled into her shoulder, caressing her back with the tips of his fingers, "I had no idea."

"I know, Ben," Ana sighed, "Nobody did."