Dorm 123

Chapter 21: Too soon.

Leah's POV:

"Yes ma'am, I understand. You too . bye" I set my phone down in disappointment as I get rejected for what seems like the hundredth time today. I have a job interview monday for the little country restaurant down the road, but even if I do get that job its not enough. My mom's bill for this month was nearly forty two thousand. And i need to buy my own car.Nine dollars an hour and some three dollar tips , won't cover it. We have money put up, but we only use it to pay half of the bill, then I pay the other half. I need to find another job and quick. Last night I maybe would of found one but I was.....  otherwise occupied . That is why Im in  the library , because I don't want to get distracted. I dont even know what we are, but I like it. I feel comfortable and at ease. When I'm upset or mad , I always try to hide it but he eventually finds out. I need to tell him about my mom and even my dad, but it never comes out. 

I need to get home and sleep or eat. I just wanna leave. I gather my books before standing up and walking out the library. As I reach the hallway I pull out my phone , looking down at it .

"Leah?" That voice.

Keep walking. Act like you didn't here him.

I continue to stare down at my phone like I'm in concentration but all I see is blur as my mind races.

"Leah?" Drew puts his hand on my shoulder and I cringe . I slowly turn to face him.

"What?"I don't snap or be cruel, its my own stupidity for him cheating on me. His eyes make me feel sick. Like if I look into them I'll sink into a black hole of lies all over again.

A couple seconds go by as he looks me up and down, giving me a headache, in till he finally speaks. "How are you?" He's nervous? Probably because he has a feeling I want to push him in front of a bus. He's right 

"Better now" I really just wanna go home and this conversation is the last thing I need right now....or ever.

"Now as in your not with me anymore or now as in your feeling better?" His voice is calm. Not sarcastic nor rude. But I have no pitty for him.

"You don't want to hear the answer to that.." I answer honestly.

His face drops."Leah...I'm sorry. I'm so damn stupid. I didn't realize how much you mean to me until I lost you. "

I have no simpathy for him. Now that I've spent this time with Nash, everything we talk about , laugh and even argue, made me realize how I'm supposed to be treated. And how it feels . Drew never made me feel this way. I thought I loved him, hell maybe I did. but its gone now, and it has been for awhile . I just needed someone to help me realize it.

"Drew, I don't have time for this..." I turn to walk away but he jumps in front of me and I flinch .

His eyes drop to his feet"I would never hit you" you basically already did. " I need you....ple....." I cut him off.

"NO" my voice is stern and louder then before. He takes a step back . " I don't love you......" I shake my head.

" you love him?" He questions . my head snaps up , confused ." Nash. Do you love him?" He doesn't seem mad. Just concerned.

"NO! We're not even together" do I love Nash? No..... I've only known him for not even four months. We been,.......... associating for about a month. Its not possible .

"But you've been doing other shit with him?" Kill me now. Somebody , please kill me.

"I'm not having this conversation with you.." I walk past him, praying he doesn't stop me. Surprisingly he doesnt . I've never seen him like this. Sad and heartbroken. But he brought it on himself and deserves all the heartbrake coming his way. If this would of happened a year ago, I would of fell right back into his arms. Back when I was stupid and naive. But seeing him now, I know I don't want him back. Two years, I was with him and he treated me teribally . But that's all I knew. My dad being a good teacher, I chose to take after my mom. But I still grew up around it and was the center of attention of it. I hate the thought of him, it makes me sick to my stomach. Drew was rude to me, but nothing he's ever said to me could compare to my father. What a lousy excuse of one. I need to stop thinking about it. I just wanna lay down , with Nash.