ℓυиα'ѕ αятвσσк: Starting A New Life As An Artist !!

I..am.. depressed..

You read it right..I'm depressed.

I never had this much depression in all my life.
I got depressed ever since I went to my 1st year of Highschool.
No,I wasn't bullied or anything..

Is just that...most of my stuff are..slipping off.

I tried to act fierce and a Savage..but deep inside..I'm physically weak and sick with other people.

I've suffered from Social Anxiety..I think my parents doesn't know about it..but my classmates do.
I haven't have much drawing due to my sickness and anxiety.

Until..this month.

July..

I just thought everything's gonna be be alright.and everything is okay..I'll pass this life.

But..

My cat died..I can't stand on how she looked at me with those precious eyes..I cried several times in the bed.

And when I was getting better with my crew..I feel..fine..

But then..me and Eliza had a "disagreement" with each other. I swear..I will never talk to her unless she says sorry.

It's not her fault not me.its about our club that she got in and didn't do anything with us.

Alex/Rina cried so much.
Pathetic..she sees herself as the quiet and Savage..but she's pathetic.

Anywho..I calmed her down.and everything is..okay I guess..

But then..my most prized POSSESSION..

My Suga pin/Badge..
I lost it..I tried to act calm and inform the teachers about it.but my friend says that a girl from 9-10 grade took it and never returned it.

I promise..I would grab my knife and slid her throat until her head comes off and sent her to hell,or just get her expell.

But then I found out that my parents were millionaires.and they said that they would buy me that exact same pin so I can be happy again.

I refuse that offer..but they insist..I cannot resist..
My family were satisfied

With an easy life.

Do I need to lie?
From my hardcore life?

Anyways..I acted sad a bit whenever I'm with people and thinker about the pin..but when I come home and sleep...I cried ALOT.i eat less. And I tried to act..like a Savage.

But no one ever knew.

People on the streets and at school would always be like..

"Kas, you're a savage! Keep on going!"

"Thanks for the help from my depression Kas!"

"Have a good life!"

Please..That's just the beginning..
I pretend to be a Savage like I said.
I need help.

I don't want my parents to worry about me TOO much.

But you guys on Wattpad..really helped me..thank you.

My prized POSSESSION has gone missing..
Yes,I talk about it spot due to me having fun with it.

Haha.i made that lol.

Anyways..I miss him.

His sweet little eyes,his small smile,and his pale skin..is all I can remember.

I tried not to worry it TOO much.but I just did.i had a mental breakdown most of the time. I cry at night without my parents noticing.

My birthday is coming soon..it's on July 20.and then I thought my life would be great on my birthday..but well..I was wrong..I'll try to get better in some way. Maybe try drawing me would be okay...I guess.

Suicide? I think not..
I never tried killing myself nor hurting myself..maybe just a bit for pleasure.

I never tried commiting suicide.
I just think it's idiotic for someone to exist and die for nothing when you've accomplished something's and just waste it on it and left it in the dust.

Alex: what if I hurt myself,will I be Strong or weak?

Sydney/Eliza: Strong

Kaira/Mae: you're weak.

Me/Kas: you're stupid.

See you later..