Running

5- No matter what

Writes note: Hey, I'm Sam and this is my first time publishing a LGBTQ+ book, so I figured it was about time. I will try to keep it as updated as possible but it might be a bit hard with my schedule. Be welcome to comment any suggestions or thoughts, as I will make sure to read them.

WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY CONTAIN SLURS, STRONG LANGUAGE AND TRIGGERING MESSAGES

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY BRANDS/COMPANIES MENTIONED IN THIS BOOK

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⋆𝕝𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕤 ⋆
I was off ill yesterday with the "flu". My parents are still angry at me but they know I'm mad too. I cannot believe I told Marie. There's so many things going on right now and I want them all to stop. It feels like there's a constant buzz going on in my head, like a bee is stuck in there. But there's not. And when I realise that there is no noise everything goes silent. Not in the good way, in the lonely way.

School starts at eight thirty, but for some reason I have almost subconsciously started jogging out of the door at 7:13. At first I don't know why I'm running, I just am. And then, it hits me. As I approach a small bridge I gaze across it to see Redd running towards me.
"Hey, Luke! Fancy seeing you here again" he remarks almost accusingly. "Uh yeah, I guess I was taking a leaf out of your books and going for a morning jog." I try to clarify myself.
"Oh, cool. Maybe if you run this way again tomorrow I'll catch you another time." Adam says, nudging me. "Yeah, hopefully I'll be running more anyway." I say trying to pull a cool smile. "Okay, well bye L" he says jogging away from me. God he's got a nice ass. Not that I was looking.
Now what?
I've seen him. What else do I want?
I settle on a donut from the local bakery. I sit in a booth facing the window and pick at my food. I wonder if Marie told Eva yet, or will I have to do that? I thought after I came out to someone everywhere I'd go people would be cheering, dancing and I would have the hottest boyfriend in London within a few days. Instead I'm sat here alone. My parents are mad, but I've got great friends. So I don't know why I'm sad. I just am. I've been feeling like this for a couple of months but I thought it was because I wasn't out. Now I am to Marie and I've got nothing else to blame the pain on.

Before I can remember what I'm doing I find myself phoning Marie.
L: "Marie?"
M: "Hey what's up?"
L: "I just fancied a chat."
M: "Oh okay"
L: "Hey um did you happen to tell Eva what I told you?..." "you know about-"
M: "No, I didn't. Don't worry."
L: "Okay thanks"
M: "Are you going to tell her?"
L: "Well I have to at some point, I just don't know how."
M: "Don't worry Lu its all going to be okay. I promise."
L: "What about my parents?"
M: "What about them?"
L: "They hate people like me."
M: "Well they can fuck themselves or something. Your happiness is way more important than their beliefs, any good parents can see that. Besides you're eighteen and moving out so there's nothing they can do."
L: "I guess you're right. It all just sucks though."
M: "What does?"
L: "All of it. Why do I even have to come out? Can't I just come home to my parents with someone I love someday and that be okay? Why should I have to be scared of my parents abandoning me? I've done nothing to no one."
M: "I know Lucas. But I won't abandon you. And one day you will come to me with the person you love and that will be cool with me no matter what."
L: "Thanks M"
M: "Unless they're a murderer or some shit, I ain't dealing with that!"
L: "Don't worry. He's not a murderer."
M: "He's not?? Oh my god who is he? Tell me!"
L: "Tell you later bye."
I say quickly hanging up. That's another problem for another day.

*******
When the lunch bell goes I head straight for the library. I cannot be done with everyone today. I  head straight through the doors and into the furthest back corner. I sit myself in a little nook and rearrange the pillows. I pull out a banana and start eating it slowly, then toss it in the nearest bin. I swiftly open the book I stuff at the bottom of my bag for "just-in-case" moments like this.
The plot is kind of terrible and the characters are crappy and cliche but it always amuses me, with their funny remarks, cool adventures and happy endings. As I read on my eyes begin to settle a bit, until I decide to close them for a bit. As soon as I do a feel a sudden buzz coming from my back pocket. I grab it out quickly to see Håkons name at the top and a swipe to answer bar at the bottom. I place it down next to me as if it would make it stop. After 20 seconds I pick it up again when it falls still. I see a message from Eva pop up.
"Lu where r u?? xx"
Then the phone rings again. The guilty feeling is rising all of  a sudden and in a panic I place the phone to my ear and pick up.
"Lucas? Where is you bro?" I hear the fragmented English that Håkon speaks.
"Library." I say quietly.
"Book room? We are more fun!" He says and I chuckle, making the librarian look up at me, pressing a single finger up to her lips.
"Okay. I'll be down in a second." I respond. "Good bro." He says finally, hanging up. I chuck my book in my satchel and close it up.
I skip down the stairs as I glance across the canteen, hoping to see the group. I spot them sitting at a far table laughing at something. As I approach them Håkon high fives me, slapping my hand hard and saying "Bro! How you doing?" I tell him I'm alright and sit down next to him. Marie is in the lunch cue and Eva is sitting quietly. "Everything alright?" I say asking Eva directly. "Yeah. I've just been thinking a lot lately." She says. "That will happen, Eva!" Håkon says chuckling to himself.
"Not like that. It's just that we only have like a week left of school and I feel like I've done shit all." She explains.
"Yeah me too, but that's why we're leaving here, so we can start doing our something." I tell her.
"But I'm kinda scared. This is the first time we're going to be living alone. With people we don't know. In a place we don't know." Eva says.
"Well we've seen the uni before, it's just now we'll be staying there. And if you think of it this way- we'll be closer than ever, you'll just be next door!" I say excitedly.
"Yes! Cannot escape me!" Håkon remarks and we all laugh.
Marie approaches, "Whatcha laughing at guys?" She asks.
"We were just talking about uni." I tell her.
She smiles and sits down with us.