Ache and Hunger ~Complete~

Chapter 16: Rollercoster of Emotions

A/N: I hope you all enjoy!

Alexis' Pov:

Conner yelled at me, loudly, angrily. The little girl inside me crumbled and started to sob. I hate being yelled at. I could not handle it. What made matters worse is that everything he said is right. I'm a coward, trying to convince myself that I'm selfless towards Conner.

I stood there, frozen in his hold, blinking my tears away like an idiot. He let go of me suddenly, taking a step back. The scowl on his face didn't leave as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. More tears left my eyes as my throat started to close up a little in preparation for sobs.

I could hear that voice in my head that hates me whispering, "No one wants to see you cry! No one cares! Conner hates you like everyone else! He doesn't want you and never will! You're worthless!"

I turned away from him and ran away from him. Through my increasingly blurry vision, I found the back door. I let myself out into the backyard. I lifted my hands to rub the tears out my eyes. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the night.

I could make out a large tree with an old tire swing attached to it. I made my way over it, staring at it up and down in amazement. I only ever saw tire swings in movies. I pulled out my phone and examined the inside of the tire. I wanted to make sure it wasn't too dirty before I sat in it.

The voice in my head whispered, "You deserve to sit in dirt, you useless, whiny, needy, bitch."

I stared down at the green grass and thought about sitting there. If I did, it would ruin the outfit that Lilith gave me. I decided to sit in the tire. I kicked my feet off the grass. A small smile is coming to my face as I swung very lightly forwards and back. It reminded me of when I was a kid and would swing all day at the local park. Life was more comfortable as a kid. You weren't aware of how expensive living is for everyone. Having a kid is costly too. Maybe it would have been better if I was never born.

I hunched my shoulder as I hung my head, staring at the grass. I felt my wings start to droop down. My tail dragged down against the green. My eyes began to water again. I didn't hold back my sobs this time. I was alone now, and I wouldn't bother anyone with my existence.

I was crying in my hands, so I wasn't aware of someone approaching until I heard a familiar voice, "Do you need to vent, or do you need a distraction?"

I lifted my head, wiping my tear-stained cheeks. I sniffed as I rubbed my upper lip in case any snot left my nose. I pulled my eyebrows together as I spoke in a questioning manner, "Baltazar?"

I blinked a few times as I processed the fact that Baltazar was actually standing in front of me in the flesh. He looked perfect as he did in the dreams when he appeared. Square shaped face, sharply defined cheekbones. Dark stubble on his hard jawline that went well with his warm ivory skin. His long, narrow nose sat in the middle of his face, above his mustache, beard combo.

As well as his soft, pink lips that just looked too perfect. His deep-set almond-shaped silvery blue eyes, that sat below thick eyebrows and a broad forehead. All of his features came together to make an almost unsettlingly beautiful face. No one really looks like that maybe this was just a dream. I stared at him in disbelief as he gave me a smile that caused my heart to beat like a wild bird, suddenly being trapped in a cage.

"Hello my soulmate, I told you I was real, didn't I?", He told me as he offered me a hand.

The child in me wanted nothing more than to be held by him. My arms started to shake from the need, growing stronger and stronger. I slipped my shaky hand into his without any hesitation. The second our skin touched it felt like the perfect rays of sunlight enveloped me.