Silence

Chapter 40

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I close my eyes as my head falls.

My breathing is shallow and swift. I force myself to stop crying. I can't look them in the eye, much less expend the energy of lifting my head. I want everyone to leave, to forget about me and Silent Phantom and everything else.

"What is it?" Mom asks, though her voice makes it clear she already knows. She does that sometimes, asking a question she already knows the answer to just to hear someone say it.

"You..." It's hard to form the words with my hands, given how much they're shaking. "You know... you all know..."

I can't bring myself to finish the thought. I feel sweat on my brow, though the uneasy warmth of my body is hardly noticeable now. I try to take deeper breaths, but my lungs freeze.

"Yeah," Dad says gently. He takes a seat on the bed and places his hand on mine. "We know."

"How?" The first of many questions that come to mind. As soon as I ask, another memory surfaces. A memory of a park, Nightwing's face as he ripped off my mask, and his promise to keep my secret. I look at him and take note of his flushed face and refusal to meet my eyes.

My heart sinks. The room seems to spin again, but not from hallucinations. I have to close my eyes to keep from getting nauseous. I suddenly feel cramped in this small room with so many people. I want them all to go away and leave me alone with my thoughts. I take slow, deliberate breaths, controlling the air as it enters my lungs. It stops short as a lump forms in my throat.

I must be radiating discomfort, because Batman speaks up. "We'll leave the three of you alone," he says.

He and M'gann head for the door, but Nightwing hesitates. Batman exchanges a long glance with him, a silent battle that Nightwing apparently loses. He looks at me again, this time meeting my eyes. I can see the pain written on his face, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. He quickly averts his gaze and the three of them leave.

Then all is quiet. My mom and dad say nothing for a long time. Tension fills the room, growing like mold in a humid corner and pressing in as if I'm miles underwater. The discomfort is unbearable, but I refuse to be the first one to break it. Perhaps I deserve it, the lingering feeling of unease and embarrassment. I put them all through this, anyway. The humiliation is the universe's punishment for thinking I could handle any of this.

"Do you want to talk about any of it?" Dad asks. His voice relieves the tension briefly, but his question builds it back up. I don't want to talk about it. But if I don't, I'll still be stuck in the hell that is silent unease.

"I guess," I answer. "How much do you know?"

"All of it," Mom says. "As much as they know, at least."

"They told us you've been sneaking out for the past month, at least, maybe more." Dad is good at making his voice calm, even when there's anger hidden behind his eyes. I'm sure there is. I'd be mad if I were him. "They told us about where you've been seen, how Nightwing found you, and what they thought happened when... when the Joker..."

He doesn't finish. No one wants to say what happened. Just the thought of that horrid grin sends chills down my spine. I place my hand on his, encouraging him to move on from the subject.

"We know you're recovering," he says. "We want you to know that while there's definitely going to be consequences for what you did, we're more glad that you're safe."

I know what he really means. They're playing nice because I've just been kidnapped- again. They're gonna to wait until it's socially acceptable to show how angry they really are. I wish they'd just be angry instead of pretending.

"You don't have to worry about that," I respond.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" he asks.

"I knew I wasn't cut out for this." I don't know who I was fooling. I remember what I saw in those nightmares It's doesn't matter that they weren't real. The truth buried in them surfaces as my heart sinks. "I won't sneak out anymore. I'm won't even use my powers. I was wrong."

My parents exchange a glance, as if they weren't expecting me to be so complacent. I know it seems like I'm faking it or just saying what I think they want to hear.

"Why do you say that, honey?" Mom asks. She probably expected a stronger protest from me. I think I did too, but I know it's not worth the fight. I'm not sure how to answer her, but I know one thing.

"I won't be Silent Phantom anymore."

~~~

How did you guys enjoy this chapter? What will happen next?

Wow it's been a while, guys.

I am genuinely sorry for the very long wait. This first semester of college has kicked my butt and I literally barely have time to sleep, much less write.

I'm gonna try and write more, hopefully getting to a more interesting place now. I have a hard time writing certain parts of the story. My inspiration comes in waves, and these past few months haven't been particularly inspirational. I'll try to update as much as possible, and I promise to finish this story eventually.

Thank you all for the reads, votes, comments, and general support! It means the world to me!!

Can't wait to see you all next chapter!

TTFN!

~ Mocha