No Escape, a Team Fortress 2 Story.

Unique Urine

Piss, the lights went out! I need a way to get outside, fast! Bugger, something touched me! Feels so slimy and wet, just like Maw's homemade jam. I sure miss the stuff on my toast. Maw's cooking was always top-notch, and even the day before she died, I still received a fine meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She had the best casserole of all of Australia. The dishes she made were so good, she could have sold them to people, but that doesn't matter now that she is dead. Maw and Paw are dead after Grey Mann' men ruthlessly cut up their bodies 5 week ago. Now, they would be so proud after the Mann Co. mercenary team and Saxton Hale drove Grey Mann back and fatally killed the crones of Grey Mann. Sadly, Grey Mann escaped and we lost all traces after he was gone.

It doesn't matter anymore, because never again will something as robust as Grey Mann ever harm the community of Mann Co again. That has got me thinking though, about the magnitude of Merasmus's magic. If Merasmus was right about the utter power he possessed, then that would mean that Scout, that impulsive and fast little bugger, would have the sorcery compared to a god. All this thinking has got me needing to pee again, and I get up to unzip my pants. I was just working on my underwear when the lights turned back on. I covered up my private parts at once to escape embarrassment, and guess what I see crawling towards me? It is Grey Mann, well half of him at least. There is a long trail of blood coming from around a corner and I assumed Grey Mann must have been dragging himself across the cement floor for minutes, disregarding any of the pain. It must be the Australium that he has! Everyone knows the tiniest bit of Australium gives you tremendously increased stamina, strength, speed, and sometimes regeneration. That is why Saxton Hale appears a hulking mass of muscle at all times, because he always swallows one Australium Pill every day in the morning. That is also how I received my increased peeing rate. That Saxton Hale is a genius with those Pee-Faster Pills™️, which was synthesised with the tiniest bit of Australium to give my body, well I don't want to explain that. Sadly, Australium quantities in the world have deceased drastically and now having Australium is like having an unknown metal from an alien planet. They are worth billions!

Grey Mann reportedly had the last bar of Australium hidden in a secret bunker, which I guess he had to use as a way to preserve one's own life. I always thought Grey Mann seemed pretty old, with his GREYING hair and all. "Ready to die, Grey Mann?" I asked and raised my sniper rifle to aim at the head. "Steady......Steady.....Now!" My aim was still pretty rubbish and Grey Mann dropped his head the moment I fired. The bullet did hit Grey Mann's exposed backside, and he howled in pain. "S-Sniper.....Scout's doing this t-t-o me......l need to tell you....." and then Grey Mann began to tremble like he was caught without a coat in a snowstorm, so violently that it looked more like a seizure then anything else. Then, green magic began to leak out of the pores of Grey Mann, and when he looked up at me, I saw that his pupils were now green like an emerald instead of the sunflower yellow they were before. "They have forgotten about you.......All of their memories are gone....Now only one thought remains in their minds....To kill you....." After that speech, often times interrupted by coughing, Grey Mann slumped onto the ground seeming to die.

I need to get away from Grey Mann's body, so I ran towards the closed door that would help me exit. The darkness was gone now, and I could see rays of sunlight trickling out of the door as I got closer, and then something about that door made me halt all of a sudden. A rough carving had been attempted near the door knob, but it was still recognisable after all these years. It was my carving, one that I had made when I was only a young boy when my parents had gone out of town for the weekend. The new babysitter was rubbish, and I tried to escape multiple times. One time, I managed to get out of the house and as a way to alert my parents when they came home, I used a pocket knife I had and carved the two words, "Help Me," into the door. Now, I faced my home's door again, as an adult. Apprehension gripped me by the legs, so I stood there, not moving as the sound of a woman humming began to echo from behind the door. My mother....she always hummed that tune to her favourite song.....

I heard the sound of footsteps and then the cocking of a gun, so distinct and familiar. I turned to face down the barrel of a shotgun that was held by Paw. My eyes shined with tears at the sight of my late father, but I noticed his flat smile and realised that he didn't recognise me. "Paw, it's me! Your son!" I said. My father didn't react at all and pushed the shotgun with enough force into my forehead to send me toppling onto the ground. He pointed the shotgun at my body and spoke, "I don't know who the fuck you are to call me Dad, wanker, but something about you makes me want to fire this gun into you until I run out of ammo. That being said, you better git off this property." How could my own father not recognise me? I was with him for most of my adolescence, and childhood!

My training as a hitman has taught me many things, one thing is that if a gun is pointed at your head, it's best to try to create a distraction and escape than fight. This is from proven experience with the Heavy. I pointed at the sky and thought of the first thing that came out of my mind: Australium Rocket. "Look, A Rocket covered in Australium up in the sky!" This had to work, or else I was better dead.

My father didn't blink, and fired the shotgun into my chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck, the pain. As I trembled from the intensity of the pain, my father stepped over my body and said, "Mate, Everyone knows there is no Australium left in the world. You are fooling no one, here." As he began to open the door, I grabbed his ankle and pulled him down. My father yelled in surprise and slammed his head against the door. My father was knocked out cold. I crawled over him and opened the door with my trembling hands. The moment I opened the door, a knife drove itself into my shoulder. The thrower was my mother, someone who had no experience with throwing knives one way or another. I watched my mother step towards me, one hand clutching another knife, her eyes glowing bright green like lawn grass. It was the end for me. Then, a loud bang happened and soon, my mother was flying back into the wall. She did not get back up again. I looked up to see my father clutching a still-smoking shotgun. His eyes were a soft brown now, and he was holding out a hand towards me. I pointed towards the phone sitting on the counter and mouthed 9 11 towards him. I was rapidly bleeding out fast, and as medical care was delayed longer and longer, my chance of surviving was decreasing.  Just as my father reached the phone, his body turned transparent. In fact, everything around me disappeared in a moment.

I was back in the Mann Co building and it was so dark. Two glowing green eyes sliced through the dark like headlights of a phantom car, and I watched as Scout stepped out, clutching his side. I saw blood, fall onto the floor and knew that I had wounded him. He looked at me with hateful eyes and held up a hand. I was lifted up by some powerful force, and soon felt my neck begin to constrict. Scout held me up, still watching me cruelly. I realise it now in my final moments, that Scout had tried to wound me somehow, emotionally and then finish me off. But, the plan had backfired and Scout had been injured in return. I had fought back, and I smiled on the inside because this was a small victory, one that I hope the rest of the mercenaries may use to their advantage and to honour me when I have died.

I close my eyes, finally happy in a long time..........