I Was Never Not Inlove With You

My One True Love

Gaia:
Time has passed by so quickly, suddenly we are in an ice skating competetion against the Shibutani siblings.
We all learned that Timothe was actually a very promising frustrated ice skater, he was forced to just be an ice skating tutor for kids to sustain his orphaned family of 6, but once seen at it, even Mr.  and Mrs. Shibutani couldnt deny that if he only was able to pursue his dream,  then maybe the siblings have met Moreau on the Global Ice Skating Arena.
As for me,  zero flexibility,  zero rythm,  and the only thing I know to balance is a bike.
I have been filling the room with screammsss of Noes and arrrrggggjhhhsss,  and please as Timothe is pushing my torso to the ground while my legs are being forced to a split.
Lo to my very low level of pain tolerance.
The other two have decided they'd go somewhere else to practice since I am too big of a distraction for their ever focused spirits.
Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined I will ever be in an ice skating competition,  with these champions too.
But my soul is just ever helpful, I just said Yes out loud to Timothe upon observing how big a deal this can be to him.
It's his pride,  it is his passion
It is his whole dream and being
His heart,  his hopes
I couldnt watch him not have me,  his ally as a partner
I didn't want to see him even close to a sigh.
We're a month into training,  I already pulled a ligament too many times, I mean twice, good thing their masseuse here are really amazing,  I have more chances to let this tall giraffe break my bones.
Oh yeah,  the sibling had been calling me tiger,  and him giraffe, I ride on this categorization,  cute little things.
Now he made me have both my soles touch each other as he is pushing my knees to the ground this time,  it was pain like I couldnt imagine. I pushed his hands away, he fumbled towards me, accidentally giving me a peck on the forehead as he dodged his head back up to avoid further casualty.
"My bad" scared that I have offended him for being so stupid and easily pained
"That would be all for now,  make sure to stretch on your own as well,  I believe in you" He smiled,  his expression,  defeated, he looked like he does believe in me,  but he doesn't think I can make it in time.
We have been given six months, the bet was
If we lost,  we are going to leave on our own accord, because as per original contract,  Timothe and I have our own free will to do anything,  but if we leave,  no more money for my business
Thus,  I have more reasons to do my best.
Besides,  I really despise every moment that I let Timmoiiiee down. Please tell me I didn't forget to say that is what I call him.
He walks me to my room, as always,  I let him in. Now that would have given a wrong notion in the Philippines, but do note that rooms in this palace,  are houses of their own inside,  so my room has a separate room where I sleep, Timmooiee will just be let in the living room. He would be brewing delicious tea and tinkering with my collections of silly things. This time he gets to a box that seems he has never gotten to open before.
"Who is this? " He asked
"My one true love -- Ethan"
I told him that E was the actual reason I was in that place.
Five years of visits and pawpaw just can't stand me not really being able to move on from my first love.
He has always,  always, always told me that his grandson was much better a man than Ethan.
Five years of pain and I was finally tired of just letting myself hurt non-stop.
Of still crying myself to sleep every now and then.
Of waking up feeling pain even before I could really attain consciousness.
I still wore his jacket, I still wore his socks.
I still relate him to everything that existed in the world.
I would always delete and download again pictures of him.
If he didn't finally get himself a new girl, and then actually stay with her for long enough a time for me to be convinced it was time to give up,  then pawpaw wouldnt be able to convince me to be in this silly situation.
I actually,  really, opened my mouth and chomped to this new scenario,  so that I can give myself the chance to forget, to heal this painfully crushed heart.
I realised I was in the middle of crying,  this time,  I was not in pawpaw's comforting hug, this time it was Timmoooieee,  urging me to let it all out,  understanding me just like how pawpaw always have,  it breaks me how he is breaking for me.
"You loved him so much didn't you? "
"I LOVE him so much, he told me if I did love him,  I have to set him free. "
"Why havent you yet?
"Whilst breaking up with me he didn't really give any good and final reason,  He was saying He loved me so much still,  he was even crying,  saying,  we just had to break up, all the while it was what I wanted to believe, all the while I was waiting for him to finally seek his way back to me,  but now I know that is never going to happen ever again and the only thing I can do is accept it. Each and every time it hurts, I have to remind myself that is all I can do. Accept it."
"Poor Gaia,  me belle amie,  you can let it all out"
Ever felt so sad you got so tired and your ribs actually ache?  I fell asleep feeling like that again,  this time in Timoooiee's arms.
With the last of my consciousness,  I wished I have a dreamless sleep. I was just so drained and hurt,  like I didn't want to wake up again anymore. But of course,  I've taught myself to always hurt, cry, and give up but only for one day.
I'll have a new day to brave out tomorrow,  and as much as how painful my past have been, I'm looking forward to many sweet tomorrows, I can get to meet people like Timothe.
"I was never not inlove with you E." I could hear myself whisper in my sleep.