LOOSING HOPE

HEADED HOME TO ISTANBUL

Can awoke a few hours later to Sanem thrashing and moaning in her sleep. She was screaming "no...get off of me". Can gently woke her. Sanem bolted upright in the bed. She was sobbing and rocking herself. Can tried again. He said her name. Sanem finally came out it and leaped into Can's arms. She cried into his chest. He gently rubbed her back and whispered to her. She lifted her head evidently and thanked him for being there for her. He slowly but gently kissed her mouth. Sanem deepened the kiss. She needed him right now to take away the bad memories of Travis. Can began nibbling, biting and licking her lower lip. Sanem moaned into his mouth. She told him she needed him. She needed him to take away the fear. Can asked her if she was sure. He didn't want to do something she wasn't ready for. Sanem I am definitely sure. Can slowly and gently made love to her. She was very responsive to him. When they were done, he held her beside him. He asked her if she was OK? Sanem said oh yes! I feel so much better. Can smiled and kissed her cheek. He told her what time their flight would depart. Sanem told him she was worried about the publishing house suing her for breaching the contract she signed. Can told her he took care of it. He called the publishing house and told them what happened last night. He also told them Sanem was leaving to go back to Istanbul. They were OK with it and had no problem with it. Sanem felt so much better.

They arrived at the airport a little early for their flight. They each got a cup of tea, sat down and talked. Can asked her what was going to happen between them when they returned to Istanbul? Sanem told him she did not know. Can asked her if she was still in agreement for them to get to know each other. Sanem said yes. We can take it day by day. Can was relieved. He wasn't ready to let her go. Can said good. He told her he promised from now on he would consider her feelings first and foremost. He would never hurt her again. Sanem said OK. It was time to board their flight, so they got on the plane and took their seats. Sanem sighed and said she couldn't wait to get home. She really missed Istanbul, her family and her friends. Sanem asked Can to please not say anything about what happened to her in New York. She did not want to worry her family. He promised he wouldn't say anything.

Once the plane landed, he told Sanem to wait there and he would retrieve his truck. He left it in the parking lot before he boarded his flight to New York. He pulled up in front to pick Sanem up. He loaded their luggage in the back of his truck. They were now headed to the farm, Sanem's home. Sanem dozed off on the way to the farm. Can kept looking at her and thinking she looked like an angel. He could watch her sleep all day. He pulled into the farm and woke Sanem up. He told her they were home. She smiled and told him she was sorry she fell asleep. Can smiled and told her no apology was needed. She needed the rest. Can carried her luggage in her home. He asked her if she needed anything else. Sanem said no. She was just going to unpack her suitcase. He walked over and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips. He told her if she needed him, he was a phone call away. She said thank you. Can left to head to his home.

Sanem was having a hard time getting the images of her attack out of her mind. It was definitely weighing on her. She wondered what she has done so wrong in life to deserve all the bad things that have happened to her. She fell in love with Can and he dumped her twice without even letting her explain herself. He left without a word to her and was gone for a year. He came back and realized their love never died. The car accident that erased any memory he had of Sanem. e She had to deal with a possessive Yigit and now she was attacked by her American publisher, Travis. Her next publisher would definitely be a female. She thought deep down that maybe she deserved to be lonely, sad and miserable. Maybe it was supposed to be this way. This was her destiny. She never could figure out why Can Divit wanted to be with someone like her. She wasn't model beautiful, she lived in a district, she was childlike, she was just plain. He could have any woman he wanted so why her?

She unpacked her suitcases and decided to write in her notebook. She went outside to sit in her favorite chair. She wrote for hours. She then went inside to make herself something to eat. After she ate, she cleaned up the dishes and decided to walk down to the pier. It was one of her favorite spots. She felt Can's presence before she actually saw him. He sat down beside her. He didn't look well. She asked him what was wrong. He told her he had a terrible headache. It just hit him all at once. He looked very pale. She told him to come back to her house. She made an ointment for headaches that is to be applied to the forehead and neck. She told him it works wonders. She grabbed his hand and helped him up. He was very unsteady on his feet. He seemed to be in pain with every step he took. Sanem thought this was bad. They made it back to her house and she helped him to the couch. He told her he was sorry for being a bother. She told him he wasn't bothering her. She suggested they just go to the hospital. This didn't feel right to her. He told her he would be OK. He just needed to rest. Sanem applied the ointment to his forehead and neck. Can said he could smell mint. Sanem smiled and told him what the ingredients were. Sanem told him to just lay there for a while and relax.

After about an hour, it seemed the pain had subsided. Can told her he still had a headache, but it was more bearable. Sanem asked him what he was doing when the headache occurred? He said he was unpacking when he came across a bandanna. It looked feminine. It was soft like silk. He told her he picked the bandanna up and saw the place where he found it. It was by the coast on some rocks. He saw himself wearing it on his hand and on his upper arm. He also saw himself sniffing it on different occasions. He did not know whose bandanna it was, but he is sure it wasn't one of his. Sanem told him it was her bandanna. He found it on the rocks after having an argument with her. She told him she used it once to bandage an injury to his hand. She also told him he sniffed it all the time because he said it had your scent on it. Can said that is why I feel so connected to this bandanna. Sanem smiled. After a while, Can fell asleep on the couch. Sanem covered him with a blanket. She decided she would sleep on the other couch just in case Can woke up and needed her. She settled in for the night.

A few hours later, Sanem awoke to Can breathing heavy and moaning. She jumped up and found in laying in a pool of perspiration.