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If I ever want to.
Why would I want my first time to be with a nigga I don't know? UGH!
My hands were clutching the air cause I was so mad. That nigga had my mind wrapped around the number but what he was asking for was crazy. Do you know what I could do with $20,000 right now? I could get my car and still probably have money for a few month's rent in an apartment away from my mama. I'd have to get a better job to keep the bills up but still, this was a huge start.
My mind didn't want to forget that he was also cute but I was still very aware of everything. First of all, what if he was lying? What if he was just out here scamming or trynna maliciously spread AIDS or something. What even gave him the idea I was that desperate for money?
Ok, bad question. There's literally a chance I might be in the same jeans I wore yesterday just now the ripped seams becoming an actual hole. My mom doesn't buy me clothes anymore either. The most she did was not put me out. I'm still basically on my own.
"Just think about it"
Duh, how could I not think about it?! I kept thinking about it. I need $20,000 sooo bad.
My phone needed to be replaced cause of my bad battery also, which was just another thing I thought about, opening it up to look up the risks of this thing. I've never even heard of selling your virginity, isn't that basically prostitution...
I strummed my thumb across the screen tapping until I got to the Google icon, hate to say it. The first and most obvious question was how did this even work. So many links popped up about selling your virginity I was scared to click one. Some were even just ads where the only criteria was to be 18, some didn't even say that. "Young Teen" is what frightened me. What the fuck even is the internet to promote this sicko shit?
Blah-blah auctions, blah-blah bids, medical examination, full-body wax, picture proof-all this seemed extreme. There was no way to even guarantee someone would want you after you went through all this, and it was most certainly for girls.
I started lip-reading the amounts of money that just seemed to grow and grow. If it was really that much to put a price on something stupid I was slowly becoming interested. Would all those times I punked out on highschool actually be able to make up for something one day? I was never saving it for someone special I was just too scared. I hate highschool niggas, they are dirty and they always want to fuck with you on the low as if the whole school wouldn't figure it out anyway. I passed on them so many times word must got around that I was stuck up and I don't know maybe I was- but fuck being somebody's down low. Fuck letting niggas fuck for nothing in return, period. All I probably would've ever got was a painful butthole for the next few days and everybody in my business. I'm so glad I didn't give it up.
