How to take care of your Virgil

Part loneliest number

Ｐａｎｉｃ ａｔｔａｃｋｓ

[tw: panic attack.. if you didn't already get the hint
They're boyfriends in this one]
Virgil's pov/

Oh god, they hate me so much. They probably don't want me here anymore. They want me to be a dark side again. I don't belong here, I only cause Thomas stress.

I fell to the floor in my bedroom, attempting to block out all the things going on around me so I could focus on the voice inside of my head.

I let tears fall down my face as I grabbed my hair, tugging on it. Why can't I deal with a stupid panic attack?

I was slowly finding it hard to breathe, the walls felt like they were closing in on me. I felt heaviness in my chest as my breaths became shaky.

The other sides probably don't care that you left them. They're probably celebrating the fact that they can talk without having to worry about anxiety ruining everything.

I couldn't help but agree with the voice, I was only ever a burden for the others. Everyone else helped Thomas in some way, making him happy or smarter.. then there was me, making Thomas' life worse.

That's right, you're just a burden. Why are you still here? You don't even help Thomas.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry" I mumbled to myself in a raspy voice. I wanted to tell it to the others, to Thomas, but I knew that they'd just start yelling at me and asking why I never apologised earlier.

I jerked up as I felt someone lay their hand on my shoulder. My eyes were shut closed so I didn't see who was in my room.

Roman's pov/

We were all talking to Thomas when Logan and Virgil started arguing. It was pretty normal for two of the sides to be arguing, so I thought nothing of it.. that was until Virgil screamed and sank back down to the mind scape, where I guess he went back to his room.

The rest of us stood there in silence for a moment before I sank back down as well, running up to Virgil's room.

"Virgil? Are you ok?" I asked, knocking on his door. No reply came, I only heard sobs coming from his room.

"I'm coming in there, Virge" I said, opening the door.

I walked in to see my emo nightmare sat on the floor, hugging his legs that he brought up to his chest as he rocked back and forth. He was mumbling something under his breath, something that I couldn't quite hear.

I rushed over to him and kneeled down beside the panicked side. "Virge, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder, ok?" I asked him, hopefully preparing him.

After a few seconds, I laid my hand on his shoulder and he jerked his head up. I quickly put my hand back on the floor as I realised that I probably made the situation worse.

"Virgil? Can you open your eyes for me?" I asked, but all I got was a few whimpers in response.

"I'm trying to help you, my chemically imbalanced romance, but I can only do that if you open your eyes" I said in a soft and quieter voice.

Virgil slowly opened his eyes and looked at me so I could see the tears starting to form in his eyes.

Virgil's pov/

"I need you to name five things you can see, ok?" My boyfriend asked me.

I quickly glanced around the room "You.. the desk.. the chair.. the bed.. and the door" I replied in a shaky voice after a short moment of silence.

"You're doing great" princey said with a smile. "Can you tell me four things that you can hear?"

Look at him having to take care of you like a baby. He probably got forced to come here and help you by the other sides and Thomas who didn't want to deal with you.

Suddenly, I shut my eyes and whimpered.

Roman must've noticed because he quickly grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles. I opened my eyes to see a worried expression on princey's face.

"I can hear your voice.. the others talking downstairs.. the ceiling fan.. and the voice in my head" I mumbled the last part quietly and looked down, not wanting to see Roman's disappointed look.

"Can you try and block out the voice in your head for me?" He asked, quietly sighing.

He's disappointed in you. You can't handle a stupid panic attack. Weak.

I shut my eyes again and shook my head.

I felt Roman start to rub circles on the back of my hand, attempting to calm me down.

"Can you try and match my breathing? Breathe in for four.. hold for seven.. now breathe out for eight" he said, slowing his breathing down.

I tried to match my breathing to his, calming myself down as I did so.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Princey spoke up again, "Virgil, can you name three things that you can feel?"

"You holding my hand, the carpet, and the wall behind me" I answered, opening my eyes and finally remaking eye contact with Roman.

"And lastly.. two things you can smell?" He asked me.

"Your cologne.. and popcorn downstairs" I blushed slightly, but not like it would've been noticeable under all of my makeup.

He smiled and stood up, scooping me up in his arms as he did so. I let out a small scream and clutched onto his shirt as he was carrying me bridal style.

"Princey, what are you doing?" I said, burying my head in the crook of his neck.

"You need sleep, you're probably tired after that" He replied, walking over and placing me on the bed.

I instantly pulled the covers over me and relaxed into the comfort that the bed provided. I looked up at Princey to see him turn around, probably to leave the room.

I grabbed his wrist and he stopped in his tracks, turning around to face me.

"Please don't go" I whimpered quietly, not wanting to be left alone with the voice in my head after dealing with a panic attack.

He smiled sadly and slid under the covers of my bed, next to me. I shuffled closer to him and laid my head on his chest.

He clicked his fingers (a/n: and we both turned to dust) and we were both wearing our pyjamas.

Princey was wearing a red top and white bottoms with small crowns on them. My pyjamas were much more plain, just a black, long sleeved top and purple plaid bottoms.

I started to drift off into a, hopefully, dreamless sleep as I felt Princey run his fingers through my hair, calming me down further.

Roman's pov/

I heard Virgil's breathing slow down as he fell asleep. I smiled down at my emo nightmare, he looked so peaceful and carefree when he was asleep. Not like he was in the daytime, being stressed out by every little thing.

I fell asleep with my arms wrapped around Virgil, protecting him from the world.

[a/n: hey guys, gals and non binary pals, this is my first one shots book and I actually have inspiration to write it, yay. This will get like no views but it's fun to write
Also, the chapter names are gonna be weird😂
Word count: 1249
-R]