letting you down

14 3 0
                                    

expectations
vs
reality

i just want you to be proud-
proud of how far i've come since the start,
how much i've learned,
how much i've grown as a person.

any time i do something for you...it's taken for granted.
i work so hard to make you believe in me,
i work so hard to make you trust me,
but
this
is
what
i
get
...
ok.

i begin to lose my own hope in myself just because you never had any for me.
one compliment makes
my day,
my week,
my month.

it's a sense of overwhelming joy that sweeps over my body, lifts my legs, and carries me through until you break me back down
over
and over
and over
again.

i'm scared of letting you down,
but it seems that's all i do.

you have trapped me in a horror movie of my own mistakes,
my own life,
and the times where everyone else is growing as a person...
but
then
there's
me.

a constant replay of never being enough...
shoved into my face.

"not quite"
"the odd ball"

please don't be offended when people ask me how i put up with your
hate,
verbal attacks,
and screaming,
if i just
say
i
don't.

i'm tired of letting you down,
but i'm hurt when you break me down.

i'm

c
r
u
m
b
l
i
n
g

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