maxine

fourteen

warning: this book will consist of self harm, drug abuse, sexual abuse, smut, physical abuse, alcohol abuse & partying.

CHAPTER 14

standing at my locker, I'm suddenly having thoughts about my old best friend Jennifer, the one who died.

everytime I think about her I stop breathing, my heart pounds in my chest and it feels like it's literally shattering like glass.

it shouldn't have happened...

she shouldn't have died and I know that it was my fault.

"why so cheery?" mike asks, breaking my train of thought.

thankfully.

I look over at him, then down at my feet.

"none of your business."

"hm. you've been kind of avoiding me."

"i haven't been avoiding you." "then why haven't you called?"

"maybe I didn't want to." I shrug, looking at him again.

he just rolls his eyes playfully, and before anything else can be said between the two of us, he kisses me.

"oh I'm sorry was I not supposed to do that?" he whispers after pulling away, knowing damn well he wasn't.

I just scoff, looking out at everyone walking by.

I see stacey staring at me, and she starts angrily making her way over, shit, drama.

"max." "stacey."

"did you just kiss my boyfriend?"

"no, your ex boyfriend kissed me. we done here?"

"I don't think so." "stacey just... come with me." mike says.

I watch them both walk away, confused. I just shake it off and walk to class.

I sit in my seat, getting out my books as someone sits beside me. I expect it to be jane or Mike so I turn to them but, it's Troy.

I let out a loud scoff.

"what do you want?"

"who says I want anything? im just sitting here." he smirks.

"that's not your seat"

"says who?"

I lean over to his table and point to the carvings of Jane's name she left.

"says jane. you remember her right?"

troy looks a little nervous at first but just straightens up in his seat, looking at me.

"well she's not here, is she?"

yeah fair point. I wonder where she is.

during class I find myself dosing off as I sit back in my chair. my eyes growing heavy as they force themselves shut.

I remember that night, that night with Jenny. The night she was killed.

how could I let it happen? I just stood there, shocked, like an idiot instead of helping her. If I helped her she could've survived.

but I didn't.

"you could've saved me max."

"I was only 15. I could've lived."

"max?" a distorted voice asks. I don't listen to it, I listen to the sound of Jennifer's voice telling me what I've done wrong.

"max." the teacher drops some books on my desk as I jump awake.