Amore Mio ✔️

Chapter 30 - It Never Happened

~ Luciana's POV ~

The first three weeks that I spent in our new home were hell to say the least.

Alessio did do his best to try and help me but he had to go back to work after taking so long off with me and Alana in the hospital. Alana is already over two months old but she's still being monitored by our doctor since she was a month premature. This is more a precaution than anything else, we didn't want to take any chances and miss anything in her first months as she grew.

"Luciana baby?" I scrunched my eyes in irritation before opening them and turning over in the bed to face Alessio knowing exactly what time it was again.

Three times a day for the past two weeks without fail.

"Come on baby, I need you to take it before I leave." He took a seat next to me on the bed placing the pill in my hand and the glass of water on the bedside table next to me.

"They're not working Alessio, there's no point anymore." My voice came out thick with sleep as he gave me a small smile watching as I sat up properly, leaning against the headboard. "It's one small pill, just take it for me."

"Alessio..." He knew I hated it. I hated being told what to do, I'd managed to deal with my depression alone during all the years I had it, I didn't need someone controlling it for me now. Of course he disagreed. He thought I was in no right state of mind to responsibly handle the whole thing since I now had our child to think about, so he wanted to make sure I took the medication everyday. Three times a day.

The sad part was that I couldn't feel any difference at all. I felt just as empty, overwhelmed and broken as I did before I started taking it.

"Luciana just take the damn pill."

That's another thing I forgot to mention. Alessio's patience when it comes to these pills is quite low. We've had the same conversation every morning and every night and now two weeks in he's sick of it. He only gets a break once a day at lunch time while he's not here and it's his mom's turn to make sure I take it. The first days were hard when we moved back home, just like they are for any first time mom but Alessio just didn't think I could handle it, so he got me to see a doctor who prescribed me more antidepressants. He asked his mom to come and stay with us after he decided I couldn't cope taking care of Alana in the first few days after we came back from the hospital, this was before he even went back to the Mafia.

It definitely did cause another argument between us, just less explosive than the last one. I just didn't like the thought of his mom bringing my baby up after I'd already missed a whole month of her life. Like I said I'd coped with my depression alone for many years and yet I still got on with my work and my life. I believed I could deal with what was going on inside my head while also taking care of my baby. I believed I could keep the two things separate, but Alessio didn't.

So now his mom is staying with us and she's doing everything for Alana. Before I even get a damn chance Donna is there in the nursery whenever Alana even lets out a small whimper. The only time I'm needed is to feed her but that's not always necessary as we have quite a lot of my milk saved up. She also does all the cooking and cleaning too. At a time I'd rather keep myself busy in the house, there's nothing to do which only leaves me with my thoughts for longer. They both insist she's only helping but it's not doing me any favours. I just want to get back to normal, I know how to cope.

"Fine." I tossed the pill into my mouth and swallowed it down with the water before lying back down turning away from him. Just like the past fourteen days.

"I'll see you later baby." As usual I didn't respond and Alessio let out a sigh before grabbing his suit jacket and heading out the door down the hallway to say goodbye to Alana before he left.