Dreamer's Disease

Chapter Six

Blake was pissed off; that much was painfully obvious. Everyone at the table had picked up on it, and a couple of people had even asked Blake if he was okay. Blake had replied only with a grunt, and Elliot had simply rolled his eyes each time at his friend. Why was he so damn touchy today? If anything, Elliot had more of a right to act like a child, but here he was, pretending he was okay and pretending everything was normal, just so people wouldn't ask questions. Only Blake had questioned him, so far. But he was Blake, so he was pretty easy to fool, right?

The thing was, however, that Elliot couldn't keep the pretense up when he was around Blake, he couldn't bring himself to lie to his best friend. It wasn't fair to lie to him, but then again, he just couldn't tell him what had happened. Blake was an angry guy, and only God knew what he would do if he knew what had happened the night before. He would probably commit murder. Elliot shuddered at the thought.

"Are you cold?" Matt asked quietly, already proceeding to remove his coat to give it to Elliot. Elliot, however, held up a hand to stop him, shaking his head.

"No, no... I'm fine." Elliot reassured him, forcing a smile onto his face. "I just-"

He was cut off by Matt's coat dropping down onto his shoulders, and the smile disappeared from his face.

"You look cold."

"What...?" Elliot cocked an eyebrow. "How can someone look cold?"

"Your face is really red." Matt explained. "And besides, you have to admit, it's pretty cold-"

The coat ended up on Matt's shoulders a second later, and Elliot frowned up at the boy. "Don't give me your coat if you think it's cold, jackass. I'm not a girl."

"But you want to be." Matt reminded him, smiling a little. "Right?"

"Shush!" Elliot whacked the boy with his chemistry folder, scowling now. "People will hear!" The route that Elliot took home from school was hardly quiet; so many other people walked the same route, and he couldn't risk someone hearing Elliot's big secret. He was a popular guy, and something like that was a secret that, if it got out, could completely destroy his school life. He couldn't have that - school was his only lifeline.

"Sorry, sorry..." Matt grimaced, rubbing the back of his head, where Elliot's folder had hit him. "I forgot."

Elliot frowned even deeper than before, then. A part of him wondered why he'd told Matt anything - after all, he'd been reluctant enough to tell Blake, the guy he'd known most of his life. So why had telling Matt, someone new to the school who he'd met barely a week before, been so damn easy?

He knew why, though. It was simply that: he had met Matt a week ago, he hardly knew him. He wasn't Blake. Rejection wasn't easy to handle, but it sure as hell seemed easy when he compared it to rejection from Blake. That was something he knew he would never in a million years be able to handle.

The pair walked in peaceful silence for a while, until they were far enough away from the others in their school to talk.

"Where's your friend, then?" Matt asked, frowning a little.

"Blake? Oh, he, uh..." He left after throwing a strop. He doesn't like that I'm seeing a guy. In fact, he just doesn't like much about me right now, does he? He hates that I'm gay, and that I want to be female. He just tries not to say much because he doesn't want to upset me or make me hate him. But that's why he left, why he isn't walking home with me like he usually does: he just doesn't like me.

Oh God, Elliot found himself thinking all of a sudden, does Blake hate me?

"El?" Matt waved a hand in front of Elliot's face, snapping him out of his reverie. "You were saying...?"