Love and Attraction

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1:

I sit up in my bed and breathe heavily, shaking. Another nightmare. My father's slow, cold death, creeping up on me like a giant spider every time I slept. I could still hear it ringing in my ears. The gun shot. I could still see it behind my tightly squeezed shut eyelids. Two bullets piercing his gut and the third and final shot hitting his chest, ensuring his death.

I jumped when I heard a loud snort from beside me, snapping me out of the past . My little sister, Anna. She was snoring and rolling over, trying to steal all the blankets. I stifled a laugh and tickled her neck with the tips of my fingers but being the heavy sleeper she was, she didn't stir one bit again.

Almost every night, Anna would come and sleep in my bed because, like me, she has nightmares about our father's death. What made matters worse around here was that my mother, Sharron. Ever since dad died, she seemed to have been in some sort of permanent daze. Depression, I suppose. She just sits there, all day, in a chair in the living room just staring at nothing in particular, her face expressionless.

When I, or Anna, tried to speak to her, it was like she couldn't even see us, even when we were standing right in front of her and looked right into her eyes. It was like she was just looking straight through us as if we were invisible like glass. She displayed no sign of comprehension or any signs that she could hear us.

After about a month of trying, we gave up on her just like how she gave up on life and on us. Since my mother was in a permanent stupor, I decided I would be the woman of the house and do everything. I started by going to work full-time on the weekends and on the weekdays, for five hours after school I would do the cooking, cleaning, washing and paying of the rent. But the important task for me was still looking after my little sister. Nothing was more important to me. It was the basis for why I did everything that I have done. Not for me, but for her.

I haven't told anyone about my mother because I'm afraid they'll take Anna away from me. Put us into custody of the state when they realised that our mother couldn't care for us. Separate us into different foster homes while they put our mother under a lock and key in some sort of mental facility. But most of the parts of me didn't care for my mother anymore, not after what she did to us. She didn't deserve care, especially not from me. But there was still a tiny part of me still holding on to hope that someday she would return to us. I was still clinging onto the tiny silver of hope that I would have my smiling and caring mother back.

I lean over and blow raspberries on Anna's cheek while she was still snug and sound asleep, but she feels it and groans. I lean over and blow more raspberries until she groans once again and throws the pillows at me like she usually does. She does. I giggle.

She looks at me with a sleepy, pissed off and playful look on her face all at once. She obviously feels the dribble on her cheek and wipes it off hastily with her hand before wiping her hand on me. "Eeeew, Spence. Really? Did you have to?" She groans and slams the pillow into my face when I laugh.

"Sorry Anna but I have to get to work," I say.

Anna told me every time I have to go to work, wake her and tell her. I'm not sure why but I had agreed anyway.

"Spence, do you have to? Please, just stay with me, just for this weekend. I'm sure your boss would understand. Please? I will clean, I swear it." She pleaded with me, resorting to making puppy eyes with her cute 4 and half year old eyes.

I shook my head sadly, "Anna, you know I can't. Whose gonna pay the bills or pay for the food?"

She looked down at the bed, suddenly ashamed with herself. "I-I don't know. I just don't want to spend another weekend alone." She looked up at me and pouted, trying to make her point.