1000 Paper Cuts \\ KELLIC

4

I woke up the next morning with an intense urge to physically damage myself in any way. I was so used to waking up, picking up my phone and seeing a text from my boyfriend saying 'good morning' or 'I love you', but now I was waking up to nothing but a silent, cold, empty room, only I was quick to find that I wasn't so alone.

"You slept right through breakfast," a voice came from nowhere, startling me. I sat up in bed and my first intention was to scramble back further against the wall. I let out a deep breath and relaxed when I saw Vic sitting on the floor, flipping through a magazine.

"Good morning," he said with a bright smile. Clearly he was oblivious to my sudden panic.

"Don't do this ever again," I told him. I didn't make myself sound angry. I could barely bring any emotion to my voice. He frowned and put the magazine down before crawling towards my bed and sitting there on his knees.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out. I mean, I'm not sitting here in a creepy way. I came in to get you to go to breakfast but I tried waking you, but you wouldn't budge and you looked so peaceful so I just kind of kept you there. And I couldn't leave your room by myself because Doctor Carlile would be like 'Victor, where's Kellin?' and I'd be like 'I let him sleep' and then I'd be in trouble, but if I stayed in here then, I don't know, no one would notice, which they didn't. I was going to wake you soon anyway because you have an appointment with Doctor Carlile," he said and honestly I only took in about half of what he said. He was much too intense for this early in the morning. I just nodded, pretending I knew what was going on.

I lay down on the bed again to get rid of my sudden headache. This place was starting to make me feel sick, but not really physically sick. It was hard to pinpoint the exact emotion. All I knew was that I felt like my spirit was being broken down even more than it already was, which was strange because so far nothing had really happened here.

"Sorry for scaring you, really, I'm sorry," he apologized again.

"It's okay," I said nonchalantly as I stared at the roof. I took a few deep breaths. It sucked when I wanted to do something and this place was stopping me from doing it. I should have the right to end this.

"Don't do that," Vic said and put his hands over mine. I had been absent-mindedly scratching at my wrists, leaving behind red marks. I looked down at his hands covering mine before he let go of them and spoke, "They check you for scratches and will move you to intensive if they find any."

I certainly didn't want that. It just meant I would be in here longer than I wanted to be, so I stopped my careless behavior. Why would he warn me like that? Wasn't it his job to watch over me and tell someone if I did something reckless? It was nice to have someone on my side, I guess.

"I wouldn't want my favorite patient to get moved, now would I?" he questioned. I felt my cheeks heat up. I was his favorite? I barely even spoke to him. I couldn't imagine I'd be that much of a delight to be around. He was just being too nice to me. It was simply in his nature.

"Anyway, I have to take you to Doctor Carlile now. It's almost ten, so get up, change into your day clothes and we'll go. I'll wait outside," he said. He didn't give me a chance to respond or protest. He just went outside and closed the door.

I sighed and got out of bed. I figured the sooner I got there, the sooner I could leave. I got changed into the day clothes and met Vic in the hallway.

"Bathroom," I muttered.

"Sure, of course. Let's go," he said and led me down the hall, "So how did you sleep?"

I shrugged, not saying anything. We stopped at the bathrooms and he waited for me outside while I did my business, then found my toiletries bag which they made us keep in here. I found the one with my name on it and brushed my teeth before meeting Vic again. I could probably go from place to place by myself, but there was something about having some sort of companionship with Vic that was comforting in here.