Tear in My Heart

Sometimes you gotta bleed to know

 The crowd began cheering as Tyler and Josh began We Don't Believe Whats On TV. The energy in the room was vivacious and contagious, it only furthered my excitement to surprise the boys. I had flown out just hours before after Josh had texted me that Tyler was struggling again. He always knew when it was time for Ty to take a break and see his old friends. Honestly, I was missing them just about as much as it sounded Ty was missing everyone from his personal life. I doubt Josh was expecting me to immediately come but with a few days off work and a much needed escape from my home life, I figured there was no time like the present. I still wasn't sure how I'd surprise them; whether I'd walk out on stage or if I'd wait until the end of the show and surprise them in their dressing room but thanks to Mark who helped me sneak into the arena, I figured he would push me to do it sooner rather than later. He knew that we both needed some time together.

Tyler has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, we had mutual friends who linked us together and then from there it just seemed to be an instant connection. They would always joke that me and him would someday end up sleeping together but we had a mutual agreement way back at the beginning of the friendship that whatever our relationship was, we would never want to destroy that for a hookup or even a relationship. He was practically my brother at this point which made it just that much harder when he would go days without communicating with me. Even worse when he was in one of his tough spots that lead Josh to tell me what was going on.

Tyler and I really connected when we began writing songs together. Trees was my proudest song and I couldn't have done it without Tyler. Once Josh joined the band it felt like us three would be a trio and I would join them at least in the songwriting and recording aspects of the band but then life happened and I couldn't step away from my family. No matter how much I had wanted to escape, my troubles always seemed to block me from any happiness or success.
Mark came up behind me and scared the living shit out of me when he put his hand on my shoulder. I'm usually pretty good at hiding any physical reactions to touch but after zoning out for a moment there, it seemed as though there was no way for me to hide that I hate to be touched. He apologized quickly as if he knew but nobody knows why except for me. 

He handed me a microphone. I looked at him confused and he only muttered, "Trees is up next. Its your guys' song. Go out and surprise him, sing it like you all used to back in the early days."

It didn't seem like the right thing for me to do, I mean during the uprise of their career, when I was with them or at a show, Ty always had me duet the song but that was so long ago and I had given up on singing. I shook my head but before I could stop him, he was pushing me out on stage. The lights hit my face. The crowd went silent. Josh looked at me and a smile arose on his face as if he knew all along that I would be there immediately. For Tyler it took a second, he was too mesmerized by the crowd. I would be too. He turned and after a moment of shock he ran up and gave me the biggest hug. I missed that. His arms around me. I always felt safe. But thats not why I was here. It wasn't time for me to be leaning on his shoulder, he needed to lean on mine.

"Lennox, what are you doing here?" Tyler asked still arms around me. 

"A girl can't come see her favorite band play every once in a while? What kind of world do we live in?" I whisper in his ear, he chuckles in response which made my heart flutter. I missed this.

"Lady's and Gentlemen, may I introduce the one and only Lennox Elizabeth!" He bellowed into the microphone. The crowd erupted in cheers but I don't think anyone actually realized what they were cheering for. Just as I was about to turn around and walk off stage, Tyler pushed me over to the piano with him and began Trees, "Now were all gonna sing this together but as many of you know, Lennox helped write this song so she is going to lead us."

I am shaking and honestly shocked he would have me sing it with him, yes it was an old tradition but as I said, it was old. It had been so long since we had ever ran it together but here I am about to whisper into this microphone hoping that I can somehow hide my voice amongst the booming crowd. I began quietly singing but the sound from the amps made me jump, it was louder than I expected, Mark must've known I would do it so turned up the mic.