it was all yellow | h.hj + h.js

uno | part four

jisung hears a muffled "is that jisung?" through the silence on the other side of the line. hyunjin makes a noise of affirmation which is followed my more silence broken only by small sniffles every few seconds, each one breaking jisung's heart a little more.
he hears a sigh, seemingly laced with all the dejection in the world, before; "what is it? did you want to introduce me to your not-so-new boyfriend?"

jisung flinches and felix squeezes his hand again in support. "sungie, ask him."
there's a beat of silence before a hesitant "is that felix?" meets jisungs ear, followed by the muffled voice again saying something vaguely resembling "lix...okay...outside...cold" before its promptly shushed.

"yeah." jisung inwardly curses the way his voice cracks, clearing his throat hastily. "yeah he is. I mean it is - he's here - um, yeah."
another beat of silence. "and where is here?"
hyunjin sounds accusing, confused and fearful all at once. jisung hates it. he hates himself. he grits his teeth and fixes his eyes on the noose still sitting on the table and a feeling of longing rises up in him. felix seems to notice the change and clicks his fingers in his vision, letting out a stern "jisung, stop."

his eyes meet the australians and the tension in his jaw dissipates as quickly as it appeared. he lets out a small apology before he responds. "the studio."
a malicious scoff pierces through the phone, startling him into jumping. "yeah, okay, the studio, are we sticking with that name?"
jisung let's out a shaky breath. "jinnie no, please. just - just believe me," an indignant scoff now, "please just come down. I-" he meets felix's eyes who gives him an encouraging smile, "I need to talk to you."
more silence. god, jisung hated silence, all it gave him was time to overthink everything.
"we're talking now aren't we?"

jisung couldn't do this, he decides, shaking and panic seizing him thoroughly. felix quickly grabs the phone before he drops it and wraps his arm around the smaller. bringing the phone to his ear, he tells hyunjin to "get down here right now, trust me."
silence. again. jisung swore these silences would kill him before he could do it himself.
"please" he forces out, small and pathetic. he's not sure whether that is what convinces hyunjin or if it was felix but he figures it doesn't really matter. hyunjin hangs up after saying he'll be there in ten and felix puts the phone down to pull jisung into a proper embrace.

those ten minutes seem to last forever and no time at all, before, suddenly and eventually, the door opens to a puffy-faced hyunjin bundled in a coat, scarf and hat accompanied by a similarly dressed woojin. felix goes to stand up but jisung tightens his grip on felix's jumper, panic flaring up inside him once more, but the younger squeezes his shoulders once and gently eases his hands off of the fabric, dropping a gentle kiss to his head before making his way too the door. he mutters something to hyunjin as he passes but jisung can't tell what it is.

the room is inveloped in a heavy silence as the door clicks shut. hyunjin still hasn't lifted his gaze from the ground in the time he discards of his outerwear. jisung stands up but stumbles backwards on wobbly legs and hyunjin automatically flicks his gaze up and shoots forward to try and catch him. jisung steadys himself on the arm of the couch and the taller's hands hang awkwardly in the air, but the owners attention is now elsewhere.
elsewhere being the noose and pile of letters on the table.

the sound of hyunjin's arms falling to his side seems to roar in jisungs ears as he follows the older's gaze.
hyunjin steps forward slowly, as if not believing his eyes, to reach for the rope. jisung cringes as the rope is lifted before hyunjin drops it like it had burned him back onto the table. jisung is not even sure if he has blinked yet as his wide eyes take in the letters littered on the wooden surface and shaking hands lift the envelope marked 'hyunjin'.

"sung?"
jisungs heart aches at the disbelief and agony tracing hyunjin's voice. he stays silent as the envelope is carefully opened and the letter is pulled out. hyunjin mouths the words as he reads them and jisung can't watches the other's eyes fill with tears.
"long gone?" hyunjin's voice comes out strained and crackling, and jisung winces at the sound. the taller's eyes bore into his own. jisung is the first to break eye contact, vision slipping to the floor.