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MENTION OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDE
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Writers note:
I currently have no inspiration to finish anything so sorry if I end up sort of making this rly short but I all of a sudden want to write a fricking long story 🤦🏼♀️✋ So Yh, it's currently 11pm and I'm writing fanfic; how productive of me 😅🤠
BACK TO THE STORY:
After that night I barely seemed to be able to put down my phone; I was hooked on every word said (or typed) by him. We started sending photos (if you know you know😉) and it was clear that we both wanted more than a one-off thing; so I bring it up.
Me: Hey 🙈
Jeyjey🍭😉: Heyyyyyy
Me: I don't mean to make it awkward but what am I to you?
JEYJEY🍭😉 is typing....
This went on for 5 minutes until he stopped typing, fuck...
FROM JEYJEY🍭😉
Jeyjey🍭😉: um Benjamin... I didn't want to talk about it but my dms are a state (and I think you know what I mean by that)
I didn't know what he meant: it hit me like a bat to the stomach. All of a sudden I was shaking and eyes were filled with glossy tears; shit, I was crying over him? JEYJEY MADE ME CRY?
Me: How many JeyJey?!
Jeyjey🍭😉: 2... times 10
JeyJeys POV:
FUCK! Why am I like this?! I get close to someone that I genuinely love but somehow find a way to push them away from me. I'm selfish, no I'm useless...
Benji🙈🍭🥴: Rly... Jorge Garay REALLY?!
Me: I've fucked up, I know: I'm going to leave you alone permanently now.
I don't know what I meant by that but my heart was crushed at the thought of having to push Benji out of reach; he was the one I loved but I can't help talking to other boys. My eyes glasses over until I couldn't see; everything was a haze.
I stumbled into my bathroom and looked around in the cupboard; I hadn't eaten for a day or two. I had felt so down and angry at myself and how I fuck things up all the time. It was time for that to end; I grabbed a shiny object and crawl back to my bed. My mind fogged over with images of Benji's face. His blushed cheeks, his brown hair, his hazel eyes... I didn't want to cause that pain. I lift up my wrist and dig the shiny object into it.
Benji🙈🍭🥴 would like to FaceTime...
Shit! He can't see me like this. I press decline but my phone answers: "Hey Jey, what did you mean by that?...," SHIT! He saw my wrist. "JEYJEY WTF?! IM COMING OVER NOW! STAY CALM AND DONT DO ANYTHING!"
BENJI'S POV:
My heart raced in my chest as I threw up in my mouth; I'm not going to have an anxiety attack whilst my friend is currently DYING?! I gritted my teeth, grabbed my phone and car keys and ran out the door: my mum questioned me but I said nothing. My car decided to not cooperate and not start; FUCK, Jorge lives 3 minutes away... i'll have to sprint!
I reach JeyJeys door and slam my hand on it repeatedly. I hope he's alright...
JeyJeys POV:
I hear Benji pound on the door; I grab my wrist and run down the stairs trying not to slip. I reach the door and open it, I must've been swaying the whole time as I suddenly felt all dizzy. "Jey, stay focused on me I'm goi..." His gentle voice slowly faded out and everything seemed to blur...
WORD COUNT: 605
