WARNING!!: MENTION OF STUFF TO DO WITH SUICIDE AND SELF HARM!!
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Jorge's POV:
Where does our mind go when we stare out of a window or mindlessly gawk at the ground? Does it go to somewhere peaceful, where everything is as they seem or does it go to somewhere where your worst nightmares are round every corner? Why do we zoom out of reality but when we hear a voice or see people we still decide to stay in that place; that place that might be filled with vivid black demons or does the fact that we choose to stay there rather than bring ourselves back down to Earth show that it's bliss to our minds? What do we exactly see when we lose touch with reality? You zoom out but never really focus on that image, more rather on the space that you're looking at and not the space in your mind. The last thing I want to be doing is focusing on what surrounded me. It is ugly.
White washed out walls with bleak paintings covering the scratches and mould on the wall; this medication was meant to make everything seem so much better but taking it just made me feel worse. Everything seems so drained of life and like it hates me, my head resting against my desk facing out of the dust-stained window lifted as I rolled the bottle of pills off the desk. I couldn't help but feel nothing recently after what happened. The glass bottle hit the tiled floor and smashed into fragments across the floor; the figure on the chair in the corner of the room awoke from their slumber and rushed to my side. Their hands grabbed my wrists as I reach down to tidy up the mess that I had created by simply pushing a cylinder off my desk; they looked me straight in my eye as I started to tear up. "No, no, no don't cry baby, hey its not your fault." He plants a kiss on my forehead and cupped my red puffy face before reaching for my wrist to check them. Benji let out a sigh of relief after he sees that everything was fine; ever since the incident I haven't been able to go near or touch any sharp objects due to risk of suicide.
I let out sobs as the tall muscular figure wraps me in his love and affection; him just breathing makes me feel so tranquil and calm. After about 10 minutes I feel him pick me up and place me on my bed, he reaches for my covers before I kick his hand away from the blankets; I didn't want to go to sleep, all I wanted to do was talk. "Jorge Garay, you have to rest, you know how they feel about you not getting rest, you know how much I get worried!"
"Benji I hate it this hospital," I start choking on my words as I struggle to mask my salty tears with a smile "It's so bleak and I can't do anything. I can't even cuddle with you!"
"Jey, its for your safety and I value that so much. After the thing I feel every moment with you needs to be treasured."
"Benji Krol, stop saying 'the thing' just say that I slit my wrists! You make it sound like I killed someo-"
"JeyJey!" he grumbles in an angry tone whilst staring out of the hospital window; I wonder where his mind is? is it filled with vivid black demons or is he slowly fighting them off after everything I've put him through?
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Thus chapter is possibly my favourite, I came up with the start whilst staring at the wall 😂 Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Suicide is a very serious topic and i understand this so I will try and be as mature as possible with this story but if I do offend you, please comment and tell me so I can remove whatever offended you!! Please stay safe yourself and have a good day ❤
