Journey West 5000

Chapter 33 - You Can't Handle The Truth!

BANG!

BOOM!

The bamboo tube that was in the red-robed reptile's hands suddenly exploded in its face. It screamed, sounding almost like a bird's beak dragged across glass, magnified tens of times. It reared its head back, the hood fell, revealing a lizard-like face. Some scales had been blasted off to reveal the burnt flesh beneath.

Trip stood with her arm out, her revolver pointed at the red-robed reptile. If her guess was right, she had just prevented the reptile from shooting up a firework to summon the nearby battalion of the Crimson Army.

"Guards! Shoot them!" shouted Lord Gao, as he went to stand behind one of the boar hybrids with as much dignity as he could.

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" screamed Gao Lang.

"Aiiiii! We're gonna die!" screamed Bajie from behind the wooden frame.

"Wukong, protect Bajie! Take cover!" said Trip. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the two boar hybrids unlimbering huge metal crossbows from their backs.

Wukong stomped his feet, cracking the boards of the stage. With a light kick, he flipped up the boards towards the wooden X-shaped frame. Still holding on to a struggling Gao Lang with one hand, he dashed behind it, joining Bajie who had curled himself into a trembling pile of pink pudding.

Trip joined them behind cover just in time, as a light shower of crossbow bolts started to land around them, some hitting the boards covering the X-shaped frame.

CH-THUNK-CRACK!

CH-THUNK-CRACK! AAAAAAA!

Gao Lang screamed while clutching his leg. A huge crossbow bolt the size of a small spear had pierced halfway through the wooden boards, then completely through his thigh.

"Grandfather! Save me! I'm dying, I'm dying!" Gao Lang screamed in panic.

"Little Lang, Grandfather has faith in your martial arts! Hang in there!" shouted Lord Gao.

"Br...brother Wukong... I've been hit..." whimpered Bajie, clutching the shaft of the other huge crossbow bolt where it went into his belly.

Concerned, Wukong went over. "Let me see... it's alright, let me see..." said Wukong, his deep growly voice as gentle as he could make it, getting Bajie to take his hands off the bolt.

"Eh?" Wukong had to admit, he was shocked. Just a little bit.

The bolt was poking deep into Bajie's big belly, but it didn't even penetrate his skin! There wasn't even a scratch!

"You! You're not even hurt!" Wukong gave Bajie a light whack across the back of his head.

WHAP!

"Aiya! Brother Wukong, I really thought I was done for! Thanks!" said Bajie happily while rubbing the back of his head, where Wukong had given him a light smack.

"Argh! You! Thanks? Thanks for what..." grumbled Wukong, looking away in a mix of irritation and relief. He caught sight of Bajie's rake on the floor, and his eyes lit up.

As the light shower of crossbow bolts ended, Trip stepped out from behind cover, a single-shot pistol glowing yellow in each hand.

BOOM!

One of the boar hybrids froze, dropping a huge crossbow bolt to the floor. It had a large hole in its forehead, and an even larger hole completely obliterating the back of its head. It fell over with a huge crash that shook the stage.

BOOM!

The other boar hybrid instinctively raised its heavy metal crossbow as Trip fired, putting it directly in the path of the oncoming bullet, which turned the crossbow into a mangled mess of metal scraps. It was enough to deflect the bullet, causing it to hit the boar hybrid in the arm. Squealing loudly, the boar hybrid tried to stop the blood spurting out of its partially-severed arm.

Trip clicked her tongue, annoyed that she'd missed. Still, she spun smoothly back into cover to reload.

whumwhumwhumwhum

A large nine-toothed rake came spinning out of nowhere, hitting the injured boar hybrid in the head with a humongous BONGGGG! For a fleeting moment, it looked almost offended, as though it wanted to say "Look, I'm a fearsome boar demon. See my muscles? Could you fight me with a proper weapon? Did you have to use a farming tool? It's insulting to me, alright?"

Not many people realise that boar hybrids have very expressive faces. That particular boar hybrid's expressive face went slack as it slowly collapsed to the stage floor, revealing Lord Gao standing behind it. Blood from the boar's wound was splattered across his robes, and his face was contorted in a horrified rictus.

Snapping out of it, Lord Gao ran off the stage, screaming "Kill them! Kill them!".

"Woohoo! Go rake!" shouted Bajie, both his hands in the air.

WHAP!

"What 'Go rake!' I'm the one who threw it! Shouldn't it be 'Go Brother Wukong'?"

"Okay! Woohoo! Go Brother Wukong!" shouted Bajie, in exactly the same pose as before, with the same jubilant grin.

WHAP!

"Stop messing around! Go make yourself useful, fight some guards!" shouted Wukong as he kicked Bajie out from behind cover.

Looking at the guards who were still trying to reload their crossbows, Wukong shook his head in amazement. Did they think he was going to stay behind cover forever?

The guards nearest to the stage heard "Here comes the Great Sage Equaling Heaven!", followed by the sight of a monkey demon showing his sharp canines and spinning a quarterstaff, charging at them.

"Great sage... what?" managed one dumbfounded guard, before Wukong was among them, breaking limbs and cracking heads.

Just when Trip popped back out of cover, prepared to deal with the other threats, she spotted a red flash. It was the reptile hybrid, climbing the watchtower in the village square.

It was small, but almost blindingly fast, its red robe fluttering behind it. It scampered up the watchtower with such ease, it was as though it was running up a gentle slope, making small leaps whenever it could to reach the top as fast as it could.

Trip holstered the single-shot pistols and drew her revolver. She pulled the trigger, hesitated, then shot again. And again. Her eyes narrowed, she shot another two times.

Her brows furrowed in disbelief. None of her shots hit the reptile hybrid! Almost as though it could predict the shots, the reptile hybrid dodged the bullets, making tiny diagonal leaps across the side of the watchtower with preternatural quickness.

By now, the red robe was almost a quarter of the way up the watchtower. Trip was certain there was another firework signal in there.

She was running out of time. If she didn't stop the reptile, an entire battalion of hybrids would soon descend upon the village. Even if they left the villagers alone, she couldn't afford to get captured. Her brother couldn't afford it.

She grit her teeth, casting her eyes about. Then, she stopped.

-- Chapter 33, End --

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