her first and last letter | the guy i've hated,

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to the guy i've hated,

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to the guy i've hated,

don't worry, jacob. i still hate you even though i love you. it's complicated right? oh well. do you know that i still think of you? in my commute going home, whenever i listen to some songs you've recommnended me that i also began to like, and before i sleep.

you know jacob, you are not my person. i'am starting to accept that. i will not go to you first anymore when i'm upset or hurt even if my initial reaction is to seek for your comfort. i will not share the happiest moments of my life to you anymore.

i will stop mentioning you or tell stories about you to everyone. i will stop. i will stop messaging you on asking how was your game. or how was your day.

i will no longer confess my undying love for you. i'll stop checking my notifications to see if you reacted to any posts that i've shared.

i will sleep peacefully and away from my phone because i am no longer in constant to watch out for your replies.

it still makes me cry.
still makes me sad.
still makes me miss you.

it's been a long way and here i am still convincing myself that maybe we are still meant to be.

i am so stupid.

the girl that hates you,
eve

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