FALLING SLOWLY ||Complete||

Promise

Loneliness feels like an old friend and she clutches at her heart. It twitches painfully, filling her eyes and tightening her throat. 

“Noona?” Eun calls her cautiously, his grin slightly dimmed. He reads her too well and frowns. “What is the matter?”

She doesn’t reply for words fail her. Instead she inhales slowly, feeling the life that thrums against her skin. Unconsciously she allows a palm to rest against her still flat stomach - where another life grows - too precious, too small. The perception settles over her shoulders like a shroud. 

She won’t see him again. 

It is too much to start hoping once more. The memories of waiting and waning too real to be overlooked. It was not his fault then. It is not his fault now. It seems like a fated ending that they can’t overcome - a defeat etched in stone. 

In another world - another time - I thought I’d be able to love you. 

But shadows of that world seems to follow behind. 

Again I’ve lost you. 

She makes Eun promise to secrecy before leaving the rest of reports in his care. She feels guilty for dampening his spirits, both of them had been overjoyed when Eun had discovered her pregnancy as a result of the tests he had performed on her. But some burdens - Ha Jin is determined - she should carry alone. 

Have I lost you - again?

She yearns to see him and with each day that passes and each bit of So that Jun manages to steal, she feels herself suffocating with secrets. And with each spiteful night of battling her own nightmares - she is a bit more certain - So is gone. 

She takes only the sonogram - the first black and white glimpse of their baby and a sliver of hope that she refuses to forgo. 

Even if we never see each other again…

She does not dare complete the thought, for her soul twists with unbearable agony.

Even then - I would love you.

She replaces his box with a message of her own. Uncertain if he would ever read it - still that first glimpse of their child, Ha Jin would share with no one else. She buries the box once more - buries her heart along with it. 

If the battle demands that she steps into it, she would - with her utmost. 

Yo takes it all in stride. She feels grateful for he offers no comfort, he knows - she is certain - that he would fail to console her. Instead he gives her what she needs, truth and support. 

“We could play around and get his DNA - but still, Omma would have already thought of that. The samples we took for the case, I’m sure with Uncle Hwang Shik Ryeom being in charge it is a child’s play to get rid of them.”

“What about the samples in USA?” She asks him silently, indifferently. 

“You’ll need a strong reason to apply for them to be brought - and it takes time.”

“That reason - I will give you.” She rises, seeing no further use of their conversation. But he holds her wrist, holds her back. 

“Sister in law,” she stills in her tracks for Yo had never called her so formally, for so intimately. “Hyung would never allow you to do this - if he was here.”

“But he isn’t…” she bits her lip to restrain a sob and Yo squeezes her hand. “He isn’t. I must do this for him - before they announce the retirement. If they do that - if they - they wouldn’t have further use of him. Before that we must act.”