mastermind [h.s.]

chapter 12

I sat drumming my fingers against my mouth in my Wednesday art history class. I was once again in the aisle seat near the back.

Since the party, when Harry walked in on us as Zayn was leaving I hadn't talked to either Zayn or Harry. To be fair, it has only been a few days, but I usually talk to them regularly within a few days.

Zayn hasn't said anything because he was giving me my space—I know him enough to know that. I wasn't saying anything to him because I'm giving him his space.

I haven't spoken to Harry because I needed some time away from him too. But Harry usually sees me more than Zayn does, because he has no concept of boundaries and personal space. It's been four days since I've last heard anything from Harry. He hasn't texted me, he hasn't said anything to Julia about me and he hasn't stopped by. To not hear from him the first two days was normal, but now it's been four fucking days.This type of behaviour coming from someone who I had to get a new job for to stay away from, was quite concerning.

At first I thought he wasn't feeling well, but if that was true then he would have stayed over at our apartment. Harry loves being babied and given attention to, things he doesn't get in a house full of boys but gets plenty of from me and his girlfriend.

Then I thought he was having issues with Julia, maybe they were going through a rough patch? But I inconspicuously asked Julia about it and she said they're fine.

Which left me with terrifying conclusion: he found out.

I don't know if it's true, but as embarrassing as it sounds, I quite literally broke down in tears at the thought that he found out I loved him and is now avoiding me.

There was an empty hole in my heart these past few days with his absence. I felt like I couldn't function. Who was I going to make silly jokes with? Who was I going to save the planet with? Who was I going to have lunch with on Wednesdays? Who was going to make sure I studied for art history?

The only reason I ever tried to stay away from Harry was because I didn't want to get too attached from him. It seems like when I chose to stayaway, the distance was tolerable. But when it was his choice to stay away, the mystery behind it mixed with my paranoia was unbearable.

I began fidgeting with my phone, debating whether or not I should send him a text.

hey, where are you?

No, that's too demanding. I erase the the text and type out another one.

i saved you a seat at the same spot we sat at last time :)

That should be fine, right? But what if he doesn't want to sit next to me? What if he truly is avoiding me and I'm forcing him to sit next to me? So I draft another text.

are you coming to class?

My thumb hovers over the blue arrow to send it right when I see him making his way up the steps.

I throw my phone in my purse, sit up and smooth my hair. My shirt got a little lopsided so I adjust it just in time before he glances up and his eyes meet mine. I hold my breath for what feels like a century, waiting to see his reaction. When he gives me a small smile I can feel my entire body collapse in relief.

"Hey," he says, squeezing past my knees again to take the seat beside mine. I should sit in that one next time if I come earlier so he doesn't have to.

"Hey," I squeak back in response. I watch him as he shrugs off his jacket, dropping it in the empty seat next to him and begins unpacking what he needs for the class. When he's settled he glances at me with a slightly questioning gaze. I give him a shaky smile and force myself to look away.