falling for you\\ elmax

"i miss her"

(el's POV)
mike and i were walking to school. we held hands. as we were walking, he looked at me with a huge smile. i didn't.
"are you okay?" he asked me. i nodded quickly.
"yeah, i'm just- i'm just tired, that's all." i said nervously. he nodded and we continued to walk. however, i didn't feel okay. for some odd reason, i felt like something wasn't right. and i wasn't sure exactly what it was, but i felt- guilty. i didn't do anything bad, i just felt guilty. as i started to think over it more, i realized it was me and mike's relationship. something was off. i looked at him. he looked so happy. i started smiling. no, there's nothing wrong. it's all in your head, el. i thought to myself.

we arrived at school, as we walked through the doors. i saw max and lucas. i stared at max. we went to go walk over to lucas, dustin, and max and then i felt a tug on my sleeve. i turned around. it was mike.
"come on, el, let's not be by max." he said, annoyed. i looked back at the group.
"but-" he pulled me away before i could even finish. we walked all through the school. i was getting angry at mike. i should talk to whoever i choose. i let go of his hand.
"what's wrong?" he asked. i told him i wanted us to talk in private. we went to the gym.
"what's this about, el?" he asked. i twirled around, angry. he looked surprised.
"look, mike, if i want to talk or hang out with someone, i should be able to do so." i yelled in his face. he was confused.
"i never said you couldn't-?"
"i tried to go to lucas, max, and dustin, but you wouldn't let me." i said, crossing my arms.
"i only did that because i know you and max aren't friends!" he yelled back. that hurt. the words that came out of his mouth hurt. 'you and max aren't friends.' it felt unreal. it was sad. i shook my head.
"this is exactly why i dumped you last time we dated." i said. i stormed out of the gym. mike just stared at me.

it was the end of the day. the party were outside saying goodbye to each other. i waved goodbye to everyone. mike started to walk beside me. i turned sharply.
"what are you doing?" i asked. he chuckled.
"i'm walking you home?" he said confused. i shook my head.
"i can walk myself home." i said, turning around to walk home. max giggled and as i turned my head to look at her she looked away quickly and walked with lucas. i frowned. mike had a shocked look on his face. him and dustin stood by each other. i continued to walk, smiling the whole way.

i got home. i threw my backpack onto my bed. i sat in my bed, groaning after a long day. suddenly i looked on my wall. lots of pictures of max and i were hung up. i smiled, looking at them. i took a polaroid off of my wall. it was of max and i, licking our ice cream cones, laughing. i miss that day. that day was probably the best i've had. i layed down, looking at it. suddenly i found my eyes to become watery. i wiped a tear. i was crying. i didn't know why. i just missed our memories. and i missed her. after a while, it all came to me. yes, i knew exactly why i was crying. it was because i loved max mayfield. i loved her so much. i wanted her in my life, not mike. i needed her. and she needed me. i cried tears of joy as i got ready to go to max's house.