Achelois

32: Ratchet's Confession

The car ride was silent for a bit, but Ratchet was quick to break the silence with a simple three word phrase that made Achelois' heart pang.

"I love you", he whispered. Achelois was silent and stared out the window, trying to keep her walls up. Ratchet continued speaking. "I won't say anything more than that if you don't want me to, but I just want you to know that I do love you. I always have and I will forever."

Achelois was silent, and Ratchet hestitated before continuing. "Everyday that I was without you, I thought of you, and sometimes, I could feel your emotions due to the ring. The emotion had to be strong for me to feel it since it was such a small piece of my spark, but I could still feel what you felt. I noticed a lot of it was pain, and I suspect that was mainly because of me. I'm so sorry for hurting you Achelois. It was never my intention."

It was at this that Achelois finally exploded. "YOU COULD HAVE SENT A MESSAGE! YOU COULD HAVE LET ME KNOW IT WOULD BE A BIT LONGER FOR YOU TO BE BACK! BUT NO! I WAITED FOR WEEKS FOR YOU TO RETURN OR EVEN A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE!" She started to cry. "I lost you for a second time, right after I thought I had you forever. And then you return, and I can't help but feel like you want everything to go back to how it was before..." Tears streamed down her face. Ratchet pulled to the side of the road, and activated his holoform. It looked exactly the same as it had before. She started crying even harder, and fought Ratchet when he tried to pull her into a hug. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" she shrieked, startling him. He pulled back at sat quietly as she cried softly, staring out the window. After a few minutes, she spoke through her tears and hiccups. "I don't know why I still love you when it hurts so much. I would've been fine if you had never appeared again. But then you show up out of nowhere, and I am forced to remember everything that we've been through. And that hurts because I don't want to remember what brought me happiness when I am sad because then I become more sad."

Ratchet was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "I still love you, Achelois. And no matter what happens between us, I will always love you. Please... I won't erase what happened in the past, I will take care of you. Please... please... forgive me... I know I should have let you know that I wouldn't be coming back for a while, but please... please let us have a future again."

Achelois had finally calmed down enough to speak firmly. "The future was ruined when you left." With that she got out and started to walk towards the base. She could care less what happened to her. If she got kidnapped by Decepticons, or if some forest creature attacked. She didn't care. She was heartbroken, and she couldn't deny it this time. She silently cursed Ratchet in her head. Why did he have to come back after all this time? Why did she have to run into him? She thought spending time with the Bee team would help become happier, instead... it only brought to him again... Maybe she'll go back to the base with Raf, Miko, and Jack. At least she wouldn't have to deal with Ratchet there. In all honesty, though, she wanted to run back to Ratchet. She wanted to be his sparkmate again. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But who was she kidding? It would never work out. She couldn't have kids with him. (Not that she wanted any.) He would live much longer than she would. There was not much point in her going back to him. 

That's what her mind's argument was. Her heart, however, was putting up a much more convincing argument. If she went back, she could be happy again. She could let everything that happened in the past go, and be happy with Ratchet. She didn't care if she would die before him, or if she couldn't have kids with him, seeing as she didn't want any anyway. She just wanted to be happy with him, to be able to love him like she once did. She wasn't sure that was possible though.

Sighing, she gave up, and stopped in her walking to look at the ambulance. It hesitantly drove forward, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. "Holoform activated and out of the car", she said.

Ratchet's holoform got out of the car and walked over to her slowly, and his steps were uncertain. She smiled patiently at him. 

"Let's start over", she whispered. "I want to be able to love you again like I once did, but I won't be able to do that again if I'm unable to let things go. So let's start over."

Ratchet nodded quickly, causing Achelois to chuckle. The first real chuckle she had since he had left. "My name's Achelois, but I sometimes go by Faria, or Lois. Take your pick", she says, sticking out a hand for him to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Lois", Ratchet says as he takes her hand and kisses it gently. "My name is Ratchet, but I go by Ratch. And a slew of other nicknames that I loath."

Achelois giggles. "Like Doc."

Ratchet sighs, but has a smile on his face. "Like Doc."

In a rush, Achelois felt all the negative emotions she had been feeling for the past few years drain away, and new found feeling appeared, and she knew instantly what it was.

Love.

Love filled her and she couldn't believe it only took a small interaction. She smiled at him as if she had seen him for the first time in five years and threw her arms around him, startling him.

"I love you so much", she whispered. "Don't ever leave me again."

Ratchet chuckled and hugged her tight. "I won't", he whispered in response. "I promise."

They pulled away and Ratchet slipped something out from his lab coat pocket. It was her ring. She smiled at it and he gently took her hand, looking at her to ask for permission. She nodded and he slipped it back onto her left ring finger. She smiled at it with such joy that not even she could comprehend it. And it was then she realized, it wasn't just her joy she was feeling. 

It was also Ratchet's.