Chapter 1: Remember

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It all started on a summer day in Trani, a town on the coast of Southern Italy. The sea drew waves along the shore of the sandy beach I've known since childhood. Fires burnt, women screamed, and children cried while the men held them tight against their chests. When I was eighteen my mother was murdered, taken from my life forever. Today, I sit in silence on golden sand, wishing I could sail my boat across the Mediterranean and into the Atlantic.

Five in the morning. It's always the best time to be awake in the summer. The sun is preparing to rise, offering the hope of a new day, yet not the promise. The wind is cool, brushing my hair from my shoulder onto my back, letting it rest and graze on my face, untamed.

I hear voices shouting at my left, far away but approaching quickly. Muffled and laughing like hyenas, I stay where I am, I'm safe, which is not to say that I don't feel threatened. Because my father pays his taxes to the Locals I know I am safe. But because there are Locals to whom he must pay taxes, I know I will never be safe.

"La principessa di ghiaccio, signore e signori" their faces become clear as they draw near, breaking through the silence with laughs and smiles, all of which is a facade. They call me 'the ice princess', what a beautiful title to have gained over the years. What a horrible name for a nineteen year old girl. Three boys: Marco, Tommaso and Alessio, pace forward with a somber expression. They've known pain and witnessed murder. Youth is short and precious here in the south.

"Six o'clock, it's good to see you Ana" Tommaso says as they all sit next to me on the beach.

"Good to see you too" I reply, as I do everyday. I go running at five and meet here at six. Always. For ten minutes we all sit in silence. Marco likes to rock backwards and forwards, Tommaso just looks at his feet, Alessio closes his eyes and sometimes I think I hear him sob. I like to look up at the sky.

My mother along with theirs was killed five months ago. The four wives of ordinary men were taken at night and forced on a motor boat. The sons were also taken, the fathers gunned when they dared to rise, and in the worst cases, the daughters raped. I can't decide what's worse, having seen it or not. Five months ago there had been a revolt against the Locals, the tax for businesses was higher than expected and no one wanted to pay it. These things are always about money. Marco, Tommaso and Alessio's parents had been involved in that revolt. Mine hadn't. The Locals had taken the night to make an example of the rebellious, and brought my mother for good measure, an additional threat to anyone who might have decided to join in on the rebellion. A member told Tommaso to drive twenty kilometers off the coast if he wanted to live. Tommaso did as instructed. And here we all are

"Do you think my mom knew she was going to die?" Marco's voice breaks.

"Yeah, she knew. I knew" Tomaso answers. The mothers had been told to stand on a plastic sheet upon which they were then shot. How could they not know?

"I wish I'd said goodbye"

"Shut up already." Alessio sighs, annoyed. Alessio never speaks of what happened, he wants to show the word he is strong when really he is the weakest of them all. Tell everyone what you saw here tonight so there be no doubt about whose boss the Locals had said to him, after which they drove back to the hole they came crawling out of, and let the boys free.

Free to live in anger and sorrow. There had been no last words. No last cigarettes or dances or kisses or smiles. Just four bullets to the heads of each woman before they were sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

"Fuck you, Alessio. I'm not going to pretend my mom isn't fifty feet underwater just because the truth hurts" Marco snaps. Our stories were so true they often seemed fiction. How many times had the police dismissed us with a laugh? Some truly didn't believe us, the rest were mafia.

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