Chapter 16: Hill

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I wake up at five in the morning without having set the alarm. Despite everything that has happened, this particular habit has survived. I put on my running shoes and change into a sports bra and shorts before leaving the house with only my keys. I run the path along the beach, but stop after five kilometers when I reach the hill, my benchmark. The hill tells me to turn around, it tells me that I am not capable of going further and climbing it. It's too steep, made of rocks and frail soil.

It makes me feel small, insignificant. I am grateful to it because as I climb, I am neither its enemy, nor its friend. It doesn't fear me in the same way I dread it. Here, I am not a monster; the roles have switched. Here, I am the lover and the beggar, the grateful and the frightened. The mountain owes me nothing. The rock under my feet is still, the wind a snake nagging and willing me to free myself of all the weight resting imbalanced on my shoulders. I reach the top and realize that this hill, this mountain, was not the challenge I had expected it to be. The real monster was my fear, which had fooled me into believing that this hill was unattainable, unconquerable.

I realize that my fear has toyed with me before. Valentino is a hill. The Locals are not God, ruling over men from the sky. Giovanni was not a monster, he was a man, a hungry and pained man. And me. I am a queen, I am a king, I am an angry woman, and I am capable of doing horrible things. If I can run this hill, I can conquer the mountain.

I run back home knowing what I am to do. Everything must come to an end. At home I shower and then change into a pair of tight black jeans and a white t-shirt. The color accentuates the intense darkness of my hair. Red lipstick and two coats of mascara is all I need.

"Where are you going?" Kiara asks, entering the bathroom.

"Did I wake you up?" I meet her eyes through the mirror while putting away the mascara. She shakes her head.

"I like the lipstick." She says, smiling lazily behind me.

"It was my mother's"

"It suits you. Hot date at eight in the morning?" I laugh at the thought, but decide not to disagree.

"Something like that" I reply, leaving it at that. I put the house and car keys in my pocket and walk out of the room.

"Adelaide!" my dad calls from the kitchen. I spin around, to see he is looking everywhere for something.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen the car keys?" he asks me, nervously. I shake my head.

"No, sorry" I tell him.

"Oh, okay. And who is the girl sleeping in your bedroom?" he ask trying to appear casual, pointing to Kiara who is leaning against the doorframe watching our encounter.

"She needs a place to crash for a while..." I look at him pointedly, trying to show him this is a difficult situation and not to question it further. He seems to understand and nods.

"That was kind of you to offer her your room. Your mom would have been proud." My father looks at me with pride and it makes painful memories rise to the surface. I leave the house without a second glance, unable to look him in the face after all the harm I have caused. I run down the stairs, get into the car, and drive off to Valentino's house.

I ring the bell, finding that it is surprisingly locked. Lucio opens the door for me.

"Good morning, Miss" he greets me, wearing a black suit and a smile.

"Lucio, you have to stop calling me "Miss", the name is Ana." I inform him, having had enough of the title.

"Yes, Ana." I nod appreciatively and step inside

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