Blast to the Past

2

Now Jiraiya had been in the middle of peeking on girls with angel wings and halos at the local hot springs in the afterlife when it happened. A brilliant bright light suddenly surrounded and enveloped him.

"Oh shit." He grumbled as he was engulfed in chakra.

-

"Orochimaru report!" Naruto commanded as the Snake sage saluted.

"Alright darling, so currently we're like being totally chased by like twenty anbu." Said snake person hummed, "we'll be at one of my bases in a bit and I heard that there was a great chipotle place somewhere nearby."

Shikamaru facepalmed, "we are running in a forest being chased by anbu and probably being written as rogue! HOW THE HELL IS THERE A CHIPOTLE PLACE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GODDAMN FOREST?!"

"I have to make some money to run my evil-madman inhumane projets and experiments you know." Orochimaru scoffed, "chipotles are popular... by two get a cursed mark free!"

Naruto grimaced, "ah...no."

"You run a chipotle place?" Asked Tsunade incredulously.

"Yep. It's purrity popular with the rogues from the Land of Piñatas." Orochimaru nodded solemnly.

"...that's not a place is it?"

"It is now." Orochimaru huffed indignantly as she dodged a kunai.

"Uh-huh."

-

Now Nagato was enjoying the peacefulness of the afterlife with Konan and Yahiko when it happened. A bright light surrounded him and he was suddenly back in the past.....being impales by several pole-like things while running a criminal organization to be exact.

Somewhere out there, far, far away from where Nagato was Pein blinked.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" He yelled startling the shit out of Konan.

But that wasn't the least of it.

-

"..."

"Zabuza...?"

"Yes Haku?"

"Where are we?"

"Not dead apparently."

"Oh."

And that was that.

-

"THERE ARE NO BANANAS IN THE SKY! IN THE SKY!!!!!"

"Oh my god..." Shikamaru groaned as Naruto and Orochimaru burst into song.

"THERE ARE NO BANANAS IN THE SKY! IN THE SKY!!!!!"

"This is..." Tsunade shook her head half contemplating suicide and half contemplating if she should join in.

"THERE'S A SUN AND A MOON AND A——!" Orochimaru sang.

"—-COCONUT CREAM PIE!!!" Naruto finished opera-style.

The two grinned.

"THERE ARE NO——!"

"SHUT THE KRIFFING HELL UP! YOUR TERRIBLE SINGING SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!!" Shikamaru exploded as Orochimaru sneered.

"It's not illegal." She insisted indignantly, "I AM THE SENATE!"

"Not yet you're not." Tsunade muttered underneath her breath.

She blinked.