The Aftermath

The Bartons

The world was never the same again. Despite bringing back half of the population and reuniting them with their families, it was evident that resuming their lives, picking up where they left off wouldn't be easy. The five years between them changed them in more ways than one. Reunions were more awkward as newborn babies from five years ago saw strangers instead of their parents, lovers came home and devastated to discover that their other halves have moved on, and friends realized that they didn't have anything in common anymore.

Degrees of difficulty differed per person, per family and nothing could be compared to the loss the Avengers suffered. And nothing could be compared to the grief experienced by those directly affected by those deaths.

Like most families, the Bartons were never the same again. The once noisy, crazy, and lively household fell into silence. Clint tried to contain his pain and guilt to shield his children and wife. But it was undeniable that his best friend's death was a huge blow to every member of his family. Clint was not the only one who suffered a loss. Laura lost a sister, Cooper, Lila, and Nate lost their aunt. The only consolation afforded to Clint was at least he had a family to share the grief with.

He stayed at his farmhouse and refused any visitors for the first several months. Even Steve and Fury. He was afraid seeing them would further remind him of what he lost and could never have back. He wasn't mad at them but he couldn't help but feel a bit angry at the thought that being an Avenger was the reason he lost his best friend. Natasha was a real Avenger right until the end, her and Tony really, and he somehow questioned if it was necessary and worthy for her duty to demand for her life. He was proud of Natasha, no doubt about that but since her death, he could never sleep at night anymore, plagued by the belief that he didn't deserve Natasha's sacrifice.

So Clint focused on his family, spending every minute of his waking life with them, making up for the time they had lost. A part of him was grateful that his family was snapped away and not him, because he would hate to miss five years of his children's lives. Little Nathaniel was still the same and he couldn't help but envy his son's ignorance to everything that happened. Growing up, Nathaniel would probably have vague to absolutely no idea who Natasha was and Clint sometimes wished he could have that bliss too.

"You don't really want that", Laura said with a smile as they watch Nathaniel chase the chickens. "You're just saying that because you're still hurting, we all are. But that would be a dishonor to her."

Clint looked at Laura, realizing the truth in her words. He somehow felt ashamed for wanting, even just for a second, to escape his guilt. Trying to forget the pain was the same as forgetting Natasha's selflessness and dismissing the redemption she found in the end.

"We need to keep her alive, honey," Laura continued. "Not everyone would know what she has done for the world, and I think she's fine with that, but as one of the few people who mattered to her, we owe it to her, to remember, to keep remembering her, to keep her with us as we move on."

Clint tried to hold back his tears. Laura reached for his hand and he broke down. Good thing Cooper and Lila were at school because he wouldn't risk crying like that when there was a huge chance his children would see him so broken. Laura smiled at him, somehow relieved to see him acknowledge his pain and just grieve. He cried for a whole good minute as Laura lovingly rubbed his back. Clint wished he could cry like that every minute of every day but he knew Natasha wouldn't like that. So a once in a while good old cry was good enough for him. He took a big breath and wiped his eyes. He leaned back on his chair and and let out a long, deep sigh of relief. He glanced at his son, who was now seated on the ground, surrounded by the chickens as he held out his hands full of feeds. A smile finally lined Clint's lips.

"Nat," he said softly, eyes still on his son. "We'll call him Nat from now on."

It was Laura's turn to tear up. She squeezed Clint's hand in agreement as her smile grew even wider.