The Aftermath

Nat's Letter

To whoever finds this letter,

No one really knows about this place so if you are reading this, it means Tony and I are dead and you are figuring out what to do with the property. Everyone knows I hate paperwork, so I'm declaring this letter as my last will and testament, even though I don't really have anything else to leave behind.

I don't really have a family, not by blood anyway. What I have are random strangers, mission targets, former enemies, work partners, all of whom eventually became my chosen family. We're connected not by blood, but by choice, and for anyone who knew my story would know that for me, choice is more valuable than life itself.

Clint is pretty much the first family I had in this post-brainwashed life. While I know Laura can use the additional space for the kids and the craft room she always wanted but Clint never had the chance to construct, they wouldn't give up their house. And I don't want them to either. It was there where I learned the difference between a house and a home; it was the first place where I felt warm all the time, even in the middle of winter. I want them to keep that warmth in that house and I hope they would open their home to Wanda. Yes, I give my permission to let Wanda have my room. *wink*

While Nick and Maria are family, too, I'd like to think I know them well enough to believe that settling down is not their cup of tea. I know Fury would only lose his mind in domesticity and I know Maria, based on our more than once drunken conversations, never saw herself behind a white picket fence. So I know that they'd feel more at home at HQ, wherever that might be. They both know I used to crash at different places when things got difficult , where I might have left a few assets, hardware and software. Whatever they can get their hands on, it's theirs. I trust them to put those into good use.

So who's left? I know Pepper and Rhodey would be fine. Tony would have made sure of that. Bruce, too, wherever he is. I always thought he's too kind of a man for this world, so, somehow I am grateful that he left so he can find his own happy place out there. Thor and I don't really have much in common but I appreciate how he looked beyond my gender and my limitations as a mortal and that he accorded me with respect, without me having to demand for it. He has an entire kingdom as his home, but he would always be welcomed here.

Then there's Sam. Oh my dear, Sam. I used to wonder, what would have happened if Steve didn't flirt with Sam that day at the National Mall. *wink wink* Much to my surprise, it didn't take too long for me to trust Sam and I guess it says a lot about him, to what kind of a person he is. I know he has a family and home waiting for him in Harlem but I want him to know, he has a family in me too. I'm happy to know a man with great taste in music, and thankful to know that there would be someone else who'd follow Rogers anywhere to save his ass now that I can't. There's an envelope in the safe in the master bedroom. I am entrusting its contents to him. He has the codes. He may not be aware that he knows it, but I think he has eyed me carefully and long enough, in and out of work, to know it. *wink*

So this leaves me with the two people I want to have this place.

From the moment I met Steve, I knew, he was looking for his place. I know the feeling, believing that I have no place in this world. So I want him to have this. I know Brooklyn is his home but I have been there, and I wouldn't be surprised if nothing is familiar to him anymore. In case he feels out of place there or anywhere else, let him know he can grow his roots here. Especially when he finally decides to retire the frisbee. The thought of the uniform retiring from service may be a bit of a stretch for many, but not to me. He's been no one else to me other than Steve and the Steve I know would always yearn for the same things he did 70 years ago. I know he thinks that he's a changed man now, that the things he wants are not the same to those he wanted before the war. Lying is what I do so I know when someone is lying, even when that person is unconsciously lying to himself. Steve may not know it yet, but I know that he will circle back to that one thing he have always wanted. And I wish that time would soon come.

The house has three bedrooms, he can convert one into a studio. It's about time he picked up on his art. The other bedroom, the one with the view of the lake, I leave it to James. I know he'll enjoy the little skylight.

I don't know what his mental state would be by the time this is read so I would just make it simple. James and I found each other a long time ago and even for a short while, we became each others' home. A part of me regret for not telling Steve about this but my shared history with James is one of the few things I truly value in life, probably because it was the first thing I could claim mine. I won't apologize if I was selfish with that. The last time I saw James, he was trying to tie a loose end of his past and saving the world along the way. I wanted to go with them but I admit, I got scared. I wasn't ready to face him. Once James finally sorts out his memories and thinks he's ready to face life again, he can start it here, with Steve.

James and I didn't talk or plan anything beyond the moments we spent together in secret because we didn't want to tempt fate. Besides, we both thought that a life different to what we had couldn't be anything else other than a fairy tale. I may no longer be around but I hope James would find the courage to brave this world as a free man. I'm sure, once he regained his memories he would dedicate his life atoning for the things he was forced to do, but I hope he would learn to forgive himself because there's nothing I want for him other than to be free.

Like I said, I don't have much to leave behind. So I guess that's it. If you're not one of the people referenced in this letter then you're probably some random person who accidentally stumbled into my property because my perimeter security sensors got busted somehow, which means, you're trespassing. Now, I really want this letter to be found by the right people and obviously you're not one of them. So, I'll make it worth your time. I promise, you'll get a very nice reward when you bring this letter to Happy Gym, two blocks down east of the NY Public Library and hand it to no one else but the man named, Happy. He's most probably getting his ass kicked in the ring. Thank you.

Natalie Rushman

P.S. There's a black cat that got dibs on the rug in front of the fireplace. I named it Liho. It comes with the house.