Despite being nearly twenty-two, I had considered my life all but over before I went through the stones. My mother, father, and husband were all dead. I had nothing in my time. That was probably why I was quick to embrace the new life thrust before...
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The Story Begins
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Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. Ruth 1:16-17
I stared at the words on the page before me. They seemed so profound. To be able to love someone so deeply was something I had always wanted and craved. I glanced at the band on my ring finger before I clenched the hand into a fist. I had convinced myself that I had found what I had been looking for, but I think I was so caught up in the idea of love that I never actually allowed myself to find it. I had settled for what I thought was love. I knew now that I was wrong. But that didn't really matter now.
I closed my Bible and relaxed against the pillows on my bed. The book of Ruth always managed to bring me comfort and was my favorite book of the Bible. Perhaps it was the fact that we shared the name that made my connection deeper. Although, now I seemed to further understand Ruth's perspective having lost a husband myself. My brow furrowed. I knew I should feel sadder about Stephen's death. But I didn't. I hadn't truly needed him the way a wife needs a husband. Besides, the last few months had been rather hellish with him needing constant care and attention and as the doting wife, it had been my job to see to it. It wasn't that I minded looking after him. It was the fact that I knew my life would never be fulfilled the way I wished it to be.
I glanced around the room. It had been Stephen's boyhood room. Stephen's father, Stephen, for whom he was named, had insisted that we reside in his home when Stephen's health began to decline more rapidly. While it certainly had made the burden a bit easier, it came with its own challenges. The first challenge being that the home was in Inverness, Scotland. Aside from some schooling and the war, I had only ever known life in the United States. The country my ancestors had fought to build. The second being the only people I knew were members of his family, most of whom were hardly a source of refuge. And the third, everyone was still recovering from the war. No place seemed to have been safe from its turmoil. Then again, war was nothing new to my family.
