Dear Amna [Untold Words and Some Burning Thoughts]

The Honey Trees' album spark

Dear Connor,

I wish we could have stopped your pain sooner.

Trust me, I did try. But, you see, my heart wasn’t ready at that moment for your love. Or maybe it was never meant to be ready. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. I dragged the guilt of your tearful heart inside of me for more than I wanted to. Did you want that? Did you wanted me to feel guilty for your pain? 

I know I made your body tremble with contentment whenever I was close to you, slightly molding your heart into feeling these things for me. But I didn’t want that to happen. I guess I just figure that a bit too late.

Do you remember that night you gave me the gaze? How did you do that? How did you made me feel so guilty for what I had done to you? Your eyes were filled with a hopeful sadness I couldn’t quite absorb.

Then I knew that your heart was about to collide with the unforeseen disappointment I tried so hard to prevent. Why couldn’t I see the way that sparks made a way into your eyes? Or how your voice was slowly turning gentler towards me? Or even the way you kept your lips quiet when I explained how much affection I had for The Honey Trees’ album, staring with peace at every word take escaped from my mouth, almost as if you could see them with brand new eyes.

As if you could see me with brand new eyes.

Did you really know in what you were getting into, Connor? Did you really?

Because I think you didn’t. If you would have, you wouldn’t have fallen for such a messed up human like me. And I think we both can agree on that.

Sincerely,

Somebody 

[This is dedicated to a beautiful human being, who has actually made my life brighter with her spontaneous acts, wise words, and unbelievable talent. There should be a place in all of humanity's heart for her because she is like no other.]