Dear Amna [Untold Words and Some Burning Thoughts]

Sunless State of Mind

Dear Micah,

It’s time to wake up.

I know the oceans’ waves are persuasive. They know how to make you feel lighter, giving you a temporary relief to your perpetual, saddened heart. They can sense the way your exhales stretch with a subtle calmness as they immerse you in their rocking motion with their delicate embrace, giving you the tenderness that was taken away from your soul so long ago.

But don’t be deceived by their welcoming fondness because as you fall deeper into their arms, your lungs will feel the pressure and your heart won’t resist their depth. It will be too late and the sun will be hidden above your precious waves.

Can you hear me, Micah? Wake up! Wake up, for God’s sake! Can’t you see you are drowning? Can’t you see how these are pushing you against your will? Wake up, dammit! You can’t do this to you! You can’t do this to me!

At least do it for those memories that can’t die yet.

For the ones that made your soul release a smile.

For that mango smoothie spill in my nude-colored gown and the photograph that followed. I have that one framed in my living room, you know?

That time when you called me at 2am because you had just heard how your heart split in two.

For all those peanut butter and jelly crackers we stuffed in our mouths on road trips and how I always somehow ended up with peanut butter hair strands.

For that night when we talked about how do stars feel when they die.

“Do they know that in the midst of their death, they are their most beautiful self?”

“They might. I mean, I hope. But then again, we ourselves don’t know how beautiful we are at times. So maybe no. But probably yes. But there’s a big chance that they don’t. But they could.”

“Yeah. We’ll never know.”

Please… just wake up.

Sincerely,

Somebody