The Emmanuel Sisters

Chapter 11 Love's Reflections

Love and John were both worn out from the long flight. They were standing at the counter checking in, both of them exhausted and in a daze. Then Love realized the man checking them in had asked if they wanted a King size or standard bed. Love had to correct him,
"Sir we're not a couple, we'll need two rooms please."
The young hotel clerk replied, "Yes Madam, I apologize." Then he gave Love and John two keys and told them to call him at the front desk if they needed anything at all.
Love said to John, "It is so early in the morning, how about the two of us get a little shut eye and meet back here at say 10:00am?"
"That's fine with me I could use a shower and a little shut eye."
When they got to their rooms they found they had been given two rooms right next to each other with a connecting door that did not lock. Normally Love would had went right back downstairs to complain. The walls in the room were paper thin and with no lock on the connecting door they might well have been in one room after all. But Love was so tired she just wanted to flop down on her bed and fall fast to sleep with all her clothes still on. She told John they could take care of the room situation later. After all it wasn't like she didn't trust John to be in a room next to her with a connecting door that didn't lock.
As soon as her head felt the soft, plush pillow she started to dose off. Before Love dosed off into sleep completely, she notice the smell of something irritatingly familiar. It smelled like cotton balls. It was the hotel comforter that was on her bed. The smell reminded Love of something in her past, but what, she couldn't recall. It didn't take long for Love to fall asleep. She had been up for hours straight, traveling and drinking coffee. Now she had finally crashed from the caffeine and adrenaline induced high that had kept her awake. Once she was in a deep sleep with the smell of cotton balls lingering in the air, she started dreaming, about her past....
"Love, the phone, it's your sister, Hope."
Love was laying on the thin, tough, mattress at the girl's group home. The blankets at the group home always smelled like cotton balls. She hated that smell. She jumped up and ran to the phone in the main office at the group home. It was rare that she ever got a call. It was also rare that she ever got to talk to either of her sisters.
The social worker said that Faith's adoption was a closed adoption, but that her adopted parents promised they would still bring Faith to visit the girls after they felt she was adjusted to her new home. The three of them had a visit together up at the social services building some time after Faith was adopted. After that visit, Faith's adopted parents explained to Love and Hope that they would be leaving the country for a while because of a family emergency, and they were not sure exactly when they would return, but they promised they would bring Faith to see them again as soon as they were back in the country. Although Love could tell that little Faith missed them a lot, Love could also see that Faith was happy and already in love with her new parents. Maybe it was easier for Faith to adjust because she was so much younger than Love and Hope were.
Hope also was taken in by a new foster family. The foster family that took Hope in was very strict about her phone privileges and visits. So Love rarely got to speak to Hope either. It had been a very long time since the last time Love had seen her two sisters face to face and lately Love felt as if she was totally alone in the world.
But she knew Hope felt that way too. Hope had told her the last time they talked over the phone that she hated her new foster home.
Love was in a group home for girls that had been in some kind of trouble or who were repeat runaways from foster homes.
Love had been caught running away from three foster homes within the past two months. She also had been picked up for shoplifting several times. Each time the stores decided not to press charges because they felt sorry for her when they found out she had no relatives and only a social worker came to pick her up.
Her caseworker, Ms. Armstrong, would have been ready to give up on finding Love a new foster home, if not for the potential she saw in Love and how she thought a stable home would help that potential in her grow.
Love's grades were excellent. In fact she had already been skipped one grade level, and was set to graduate high school, two years early, at the age of sixteen. Love's social worker was trying to keep her in a traditional public high school versus having her attend school inside one of the secured group homes. Graduation from a traditional high school would help her chances in getting a scholarship and acceptance to the college of her choice. Love had made close to perfect scores on her SAT's, and she was expected to be number one in her graduating class. That is, if only she could stay in school long enough to finish all her classes. She only had a few more weeks before graduation.
Love had already received several conditional offers to attend universities across the country based on merit scholarships. But of course those scholarships and early acceptance letters were contingent on her actually graduating. Ms. Armstrong was able to work out something with Love's school. The school's representative dropped off assignments from the classroom at the group home. Love completed her assignments and had them ready the next morning for pick up. The following week Love would take her finals, and all this was already set up through both schools, the HighSchool and the secure group home school. Everyone was working hard to help Love graduate and succeed but it seemed like Love was her own worse enemy.
Ms. Armstrong, was a very caring and diligent social worker. She routinely went above and beyond what her job required. She knew the only reason Love ran from her foster homes in the past was to try and contact her sisters. Love did not adjust well to any of the foster homes Ms. Armstrong had placed her in. So now Love had been placed in the girl's secured group home as a last resort, because she was considered a flight risk and a threat to herself. Ms. Armstrong told her it was just a temporary placement. She told Love she would be there just until she found another family which was willing to take her on, or until she graduated high school, and was eligible to be considered emancipated or go off to college as a ward of the state.
Love didn't mind the group home. Love felt like at least she was learning new useful skills from her various roommates. Also, Love didn't have any adults trying to pretend they were her parents and that they really cared.
When Love picked up the phone at the group home she heard Hope say, "Love is that you?" Love yelled excitedly, "Hope, Hope, I've missed you!" Then she heard her little sister Hope break down and start to cry.
Hope was making huge sobbing and animal like gasping sounds. Hope's crying went on for what seemed like forever to Love. Love's happiness and excitement to hear from her sister, quickly turned into worry and concern. Once she heard Hope quiet down, she asked Hope what was wrong.
"Love I can't take it anymore. I just want to kill myself. I can't take it. Please, can you come get me? Can we just run away from all of this?"
"I'll come, where are you? What happened Hope?"
"I can't say, not now. My foster parents went to bible study without me. I said I was sick. But he will be back home before you know it. I know he won't leave me here alone for too long. He will make some excuse up, to leave and come home early."
Hope sounded frantic and Love could barely understand her, so she asked her again. "What happened Hope? What is wrong?"
"I'm sorry, Love. I just can't tell you, not yet."
"Okay, just leave then and I will meet you somewhere Hope."
"I can't just leave. He has got the next door neighbor watching me. That mean, old lady is always watching the house to make sure I don't run away, or have anyone come over while they are gone. I tried leaving once before, and she called them up at the church, and they had people picking me up before I was even a block away."
"Well what do we do? Won't your neighbor still call someone when she sees me come there?"
"I've thought about this Love a long time now, and I have a plan. After school, meet me at my bus stop at 3:30pm. I will pack some clothes in my book bag. I've got thirty dollars saved up. The two of us can just hitchhike or catch the train until we get far enough away. One day we can come back for Faith. After we think it's safe to come back, but she is out of the country right now with her adopted parents anyway."
The only times Love had ever run away from the foster homes was to try to see Faith or Hope. The idea of leaving Faith all alone made her sad, but Love knew Faith wasn't really alone, like her and Hope were. Faith was happy and she had been adopted into a good home. So Love told Hope she would be there at the bus stop tomorrow, waiting for her. Then she asked Hope again what had made her so upset. Hope still refused to tell her and Hope just said, "I love you big sis, more than anything. Thank you for doing this for me, I'll see you tomorrow."
Love was a pro at run-away attempts, but she wasn't so good about not getting caught. However, after three weeks in the girl's group home, she was confident that she gained enough knowledge to make it on the streets, at least for a little while. That night Love found it hard to get to sleep. She kept tossing and turning. She was trying to figure out in her head just how they were going to run away, and where they should head to once they met up with each other. The hardest part would be finding a way out of the secure group home. She needed to meet Hope at the bus stop at 3:30pm. Love had her first final exam scheduled the next day and she knew after that she was scheduled for independent study in the supervised classroom until 3:00pm. At 3:00pm all the girls were escorted to the living area where they had free time until they were escorted to the dining hall. Love knew the only way she was going to get out of the group home without being noticed was to bribe one of the guards. The question she had was who to bribe and what to bribe them with. She didn't have any money and she rarely spoke to the guards. She had only been in the home a week and a half. So she decided to get out of bed and speak to Jesse.
Jesse was the most experienced and seasoned girl at the group home. Love had made a sort of friendship with Jesse. Love had been doing Jesse's homework every night since she had arrived at the group home and Jesse in return made sure none of the girls at the group home bothered Love. The relationship was working so far. So Love went to Jesse for advice.
"Jesse", Love was whispering Jesse's name and nudging her lightly, hoping not to wake up any of the other girls.
Jesse was groggy and had an attitude about being woken up. "What you waking me up for?"
"Jesse I need your help."
Jesse still had an attitude, but now she was wide awake. "What's up some girl trying to mess with you?"
"No, it's about my little sister, Hope. I spoke to her tonight and she was real upset. She said she can't take it no more and she wants to kill herself. So she wants me to come and get her and for us to get out of town. Can you help me Jesse? How can I get out of here without the guards catching me?"
"Well, if you've got enough money, almost any one of the guards will hook you up and look the other way. As long as you don't snitch them out if you get caught. Most of them don't care no ways if they get fired, because they just doing this job as a side gig anyways."
"Well I don't have any money Jesse."
"Then I guess you and your sista just out of luck. They don't call this place a secure facility for nothing you know. There ain't no way you walking out of here without someone with access helping you."
"But Jesse, Hope really sounded desperate over the phone. Think, is there any other way I can get around the guards without any of them catching me?"
"Now you know I've lived here going on fifteen months now. All the times I've ever ran away I was caught even with a guards help. And then it just adds no time on to ya being here anyways. So it's not worth it. Believe me if there was a way to get out of here without paying them off, I would have found out bout  it by now. Look why don't you call your sister up and tell her to wait? Ain't you set to go to some fancy college once you graduate anyways?  Then when you go to college you won't be on lock down and you can visit her all you want."
"I am, but you had to hear her on the phone, Jesse. I've never heard Hope cry like that before, even when our Nana died. Something is really wrong and I couldn't say no to her. I couldn't tell her to wait weeks from now or maybe even months from now so I can go to some college and see her then."
"Okay I hear you. There is another way to get out of here without getting caught you know. But I don't know, well I don't think you're the type that be willing to do it."
"What is it? I'll do it, whatever it is."
"There's a few guards that will hook you up if you give him some, and if what you give him is real good he'll even give you a little extra cash on the side."
Love hadn't told Jesse or anyone else, that she was still a virgin. Being a virgin around here just made you seem weak. Love thought about losing her virginity to some stranger and the thought of it made her feel sick, but if that was what she had to do to get to Hope she would do it.
"Jesse can you hook it up for me tomorrow, because I need to be out of here at least by 3:00pm tomorrow to meet up with Hope."
Okay, but are you really sure about this School Girl?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay then, but dag, I guess this means I'm gonna have to get one of these other girls to do my homework. You know the rest of them dumb though, I might as well do it myself."
Love smiled. "You don't need me to do your homework, you can already do it yourself if you wasn't so lazy Jes. I know you are book smart even though you pretend you are only street smart."
"Maybe you're right, but don't tell no one."
"Your secrets are safe with me. Hey thanks Jes. I owe you one."
"Don't worry about it girl. I've got sisters and brothers out there myself. I just don't know who any of them are since my mama was a whore, and my daddy wasn't worth one cent."
Love knew, Jesse meant that as a joke, but it was just too true to be funny. Love realized how lucky she was to have had Nana all those years. If it wasn't for Nana she knew her and her sisters would probably have been much worse off by now.
The next day Love was so nervous she had bitten all her fingernails down. It was nearly close to 3:00pm. Jesse hadn't spoken to Love all day. But usually, Jesse and Love did not talk to each other until they were back at their sleeping quarters to exchange the homework assignments. Jesse didn't want the teachers to think her and Love were friends. She said if they thought the two of them were cool with each other they might become suspicious that Love was actually the person doing Jesse's homework. Even though Love had not spoken to Jesse she trusted that Jesse would keep her word to her. Like usual the guard escorted the girls to their living area to relax until it was dinner time. It seemed like any other normal afternoon, except the guard whispered, "hang back", to Love when she walked by him to get into line with the other girls.
So Love made sure she was the last girl in the line. Her heart was racing while she walked down the corridor. She looked at the man who had whispered to her; he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't handsome either. Before they turned the corner of the corridor he nudged her towards the employee's restroom.
"Stay here", he said.
Less than five minutes later he was back with an extra uniform in his hand.
"Come on, quick, put this on. It should fit. My shift is over and I've already checked out so we need to move fast."
After Love had changed into the uniform the guard gave her, they left out of the employee's exit door. Love kept her head down as she passed through the metal detectors, but no one was paying her any attention any way. It was shift change. The employees at the group home were busy coming in and going out. Love followed the guard to his car and they just got in and drove off. It was so simple and it went so smoothly. Then the guard said to Love, "it's 3:05pm. I hear you've got to be somewhere by 3:30pm. So where you want me to drop you off at?"
Love gave him the location of Hope's school and asked him if he could wait for her and drop her and her sister off at the nearest Greyhound. He replied nonchalantly, "we'll see".
For a split second Love thought, maybe he's just helping me, just to help me. But then Love noticed that while they were talking he had driven his car behind an abandon building. He got out of the car in a hurry. "Come on, we don't have much time."
Now Love was scared. She suddenly realized he could do anything to her in this building, even kill her, and probably get away with it. But she also knew if she tried to run now he would catch her, and that would just make things take longer. Love didn't want Hope waiting for her for too long. So Love obediently followed him into the building. He pointed to a dirty mattress on the floor. There were old crack pipes lying around, and the smell of urine. Love noticed for the first time how sweaty he was, that he was overweight and his fat finger had a wedding ring on it.
"Um Sir, I've never done this before."
"Oh first time you've done this with a stranger? Well just look at it this way, at least you are not giving something for nothing, like most girl's do. Consider this just quid pro quo."
"Well yeah, but also, it's just the first time I've ever done it."
He looked at her pleasantly surprised, and you could hear it in his voice. "For real, well this is really my lucky day. I ain't ever did it with a virgin before. You aint' shittin me, are you?"
But before Love could even answer his question, he abruptly laid Love down on the dirty mattress. Then he said, "don't worry, I'll be real gentle. Just lay there nice and still and it will be over before you know it."
Love did exactly what he said. She kept her eyes closed the whole time and thought about something else, anything else.
He kept true to his promise, it was quick. Love was in some pain and felt disgusting. She always dreamed her first time would be like a fairytale with her Prince Charming husband, or at least with someone she fell in love with.  That dream was dead now, but Love had no time to grieve the death of it today. She locked the pain away. She was good at locking things away and good at compartmentalizing her emotions.
The guard kept talking like what they just did was nothing, like it didn't even happen.
"You look like a good girl. So don't worry, I ain't got nothing. My wife would kill me if I brought something home to her, and I ain't never known anyone to get knocked up first time around either."
All the time while he was talking, Love was thinking,  "does this guy ever fucking shut up?!
But she still needed him, so she would have to smile and be nice, "Um, Sir will you wait for me and my sister and drop us off somewhere?"
"Sorry I can't do that, I've got to pick my kids up from daycare by 4:00pm, and I'm already running behind. But, I can drop you off somewhere, if it's on the way to the daycare center. Here is a little cash too. Maybe you and your sister can catch the city bus or subway with this."
He gave Love twenty dollars and dropped her off down the block from her sister's school. Love thought to herself, "at least that would be the last time I ever have to see him again." Then Love ran towards the school busses. It was exactly 3:30pm. Love  looked and she looked, but she didn't see Hope anywhere. She waited and waited, and almost all the kids were gone and on their busses. Then Love started asking the few kids that were still waiting for their buses, "do you know Hope, have you seen Hope Emmanuel?"
Finally, a girl came up to her and said, "you looking for Hope?"
"Yeah".
"Hope's out sick today. I'm in her homeroom and I also live right down the block from her. I'm suppose to bring her, her homework assignments."
Love felt her heart drop, and she thought to herself, "had all this been for nothing?" Then Love said to the girl, "Well I can take her homework assignments to her. I was supposed to meet her here today. We have a class project we're working on together."
The girl looked at Love a little suspiciously. Love looked to old to be in junior high and it didn't help that she had on the navy blue guard pants, a white t-shirt, and penny loathers on like she was in some boarding school. But the girl still gave Love, Hope's homework assignments. She really didn't want to drop them off to Hope, she thought Hope was weird, but her mother had volunteered her services because Hope's foster father was their pastor.
So Love got on the school bus. She told the bus driver she had forgotten her school bus-pass, and he let her on the bus with no questions.
Love didn't know what she was going to do when she got there, but she figured she couldn't go back to the group home so she might as well go to Hope's home. What Love didn't know was that Hope's classmate who had gotten off the bus three stops before her, had already made it to her house and told her mother she gave Hope's homework to another girl at school. When her mother questioned her about who the other girl was she explained how she'd never seen her before and described the girl.
The girl's mother knew instantly it was the older sister, Love she was describing. The pastor had told her several times how the girl was a criminal and a bad influence for seer Hope to be around. So the mother called the pastor to let him know her suspicions about who had Hope's homework based on the description her daughter gave her if this girl.
Once Love recognized the street that Hope lived on getting closer, she got ready to get off the school bus. Just when Love was getting ready to tell the driver to let her off, she noticed a police car sitting right outside Hope's foster home. So Love sat back down. She wasn't sure why the police were out there, but it worried her and she didn't want to get caught.
Love stayed on the bus until the last stop and then she finally got off. Love was scared, but she tried calling Hope's foster home several times from a pay phone. Each time Hope's foster father answered and Love hung up. The third time Love called she got the courage up to ask to speak to Hope. Hope's foster father said, "sorry she can't talk she is in bed sick." So she decided to catch the train up to Manhattan. Love had already spent close to five dollars out of the twenty she got from the guard, on pizza, a soda, quarters for the pay phone calls and the subway. It was around 11:00pm and Love decided to finally call her caseworker, She left the group home to leave with Hope. She wasn't planning on leaving town without Hope.
So she called Ms. Armstrong, because she didn't know what else to do, or who else to call. She knew Ms. Armstrong would be upset at her, but she was really the only person she had to call and besides she trusted Ms. Armstrong.
Ms. Armstrong met Love at the pizza parlor. It was obvious Ms. Armstrong was really upset with Love. When she walked into the pizza parlor her face was red with anger. Love could tell by the wrinkles in her forehead that she was in for a lecture about running away again. Ms. Armstrong sat down and the first thing she said was, "so what was your reason for doing it this time?"
"It doesn't matter, Ms. Armstrong you wouldn't understand."
"Try me. Love, haven't I tried my best to be in your corner from the very start. Don't you want to go to college? Don't you want a better future? Why do you insist on trying to do things to sabotage yourself? All you have to do is complete 3 more finals and then you can choose from several universities to go to, even Harvard. What could be so important for you to risk all of that for?"
Love answered in a soft, little voice, with her head hanging down, "my sister".
Ms. Armstrong's stern expression softened a little and then she said, "Love, I know you miss your sisters, but right now there is no way you all can be together. You have to learn how to accept that and have hope that this separation is temporary."
"I know, but Hope called me up at the group home. She hardly ever calls me, and she sounded real, real upset. She was crying, uncontrollably. I think something bad is going on with her over there."
"Love, your sister Hope is in a well respected foster home. The family she is with has had several children in their home over the years before Hope, and not once have we ever heard any complaints from any of those children. The father's a pastor. In fact Hope, herself has not given her own social worker any complaints during any of the home visits. I would know, because her case-worker's office is right down the hall from my office, and her worker was my mentor."
I hear what you're saying Ms. Armstrong and I hope you are right. But all I can tell you is that I know my sister, and I have never heard her cry like that before, not even when Nana died."
"Did Hope tell you what was wrong with her?"
"No she wouldn't tell me."
"Look, if it makes you feel better, I will do a surprise visit on Hope's foster home tomorrow morning. Hope's caseworker is out on maternity leave so she won't be able to get to it. I will tell you tomorrow how it went. Don't worry Love, I'm sure everything is fine."
Love looked up at Ms. Armstrong and gave her a genuinely sincere smile of gratitude, "thank you Ms. Armstrong. Hope's foster dad said she would be home sick for a few days when I called. So I know she should be home all day tomorrow."
"I'm sure she is just sick and really missing you, little Faith and your Nana being there to take care of her, just like you miss all of them so much."
Love thought to herself, "maybe that was it, maybe Hope just was sick and feeling sad. Hope was always a really big baby whenever she came down sick with anything." Love doubted anyone would take care of them the way Nana use to when they were sick. Love also knew that even she would cry sometimes, late at night, when she got to missing them real bad. Love looked at Ms. Armstrong and said, "maybe you're right."
"Sure I am. Now back to you, how did you get out of the group home anyway?"
Love looked Ms. Armstrong straight in the eyes and lied, "I snuck out in the bottom of the dirty laundry bin and jumped out the truck when they came to a stop." Love thought to herself, "that sounded so good maybe I should have actually tried getting out that way."
Ms. Armstrong didn't know whether to believe Love or not. She looked at Love suspiciously. "It doesn't even matter, because it's not going to happen again, right?"
"Right, I promise."
"Love, you have just three more test to take, then graduation day, and after that you can even be emancipated and leave early for the college of your choice, or just remain a ward of the state and go to college.  You've got to stay focused on your future. Everything you've worked so hard for is so close Love. So now we have to figure out how to take you back to the group home without them thinking you ran away. I tell you what let's go back now, and I will tell the night supervisor that I forgot to sign you out and that we were running late for an orientation college tour and dinner at NYU for prospective freshmen."
"You mean you are going to lie for me, Ms. Armstrong?!"
"Hush your mouth, child. I'm not telling a lie, simply a little fib, not really a lie at all."
Love didn't know many white women. She definitely didn't know any southern white women growing up in New York, and Ms. Armstrong seemed to be just like something straight out of "Gone With the Wind". Ms. Armstrong was beautiful, blonde, and a voluptuous woman with the deepest southern accent Love had ever heard in any movie or TV show she had ever seen. Although Love generally distrusted all things connected with the south, she couldn't hep but to like Ms. Armstrong. Ms. Armstrong was sweet, sincere and honest, and honestly felt like the only friend Love had most times.
Ms. Armstrong, was whispering to herself, "Jesus forgive me for telling this little fib, but if I don't tell this fib, they will take this poor child back to juvenile detention instead of the group home and lock her up." After, she looked over at Love and said, "and if you go to juvi, you will miss your last three finals, and ruin your chances of graduating and going to college. Now we don't want that to happen."
Then Ms. Armstrong was talking out loud to herself again trying to ease her own conscience about lying. "Remember, Lord Rahab lied and saved the lives of her entire family. So I pray you will forgive me if this little lies since I'm telling it for a greater good." Love thought to herself, how it wasn't all that serious, cause she lied all time. If she didn't she wasn't sure she would have survived foster care, detention centers and the group home.
Love remembered Nana telling her about Rahab in the Bible. Rahab lies led to the ultimate fall of the walls of Jericho, and the Jewish people claiming the land. Love knew
all of this because Nana had put the girls to bed every night with a different bible story. Love had not forgotten any of the stories Nana told her from the bible. No matter how hard she tried to forget, she couldn't. But the one thing that stuck in Love's head when Ms. Armstrong mentioned Rahab, was that Rahab was a prostitute and a liar. Love thought to herself, "in one day I've gone from being a basically honest virgin, to a liar and a prostitute, just like Rahab; but nothing I did today has seemed to save anyone." Me. Armstrong started talking to Love again and distracted her from her own dark thoughts.
"Now, before I take you back to the group home we are going to have to get you some proper clothes to put on. Love, are you listening to me? We need to at least make it look like you've been to a college orientation and social dinner."
So they stopped by Ms. Armstrong's home and Ms. Armstrong gave Love an old plaid skirt that she had her put on, some socks to wear with the penny loafers Love already had on, and a white button down blouse.
"Love this use to be my old school girl uniform. I saved it for sentimental reasons. You can keep it. Why don't you go and take a quick shower and fix your hair."
Love turned on the shower and scrubbed her body until her skin was red, and she sobbed into her washcloth until she couldn't cry anymore. When she emerged, all dressed and clean, with her long dark hair pulled back nicely in a pony tail, Ms. Armstrong noticed how red her eyes were.
"Come here child." She stood Love in front of her full length mirror. "Love, don't be discouraged. Look at yourself. You are beautiful and you are so smart. You already look like a college girl. You can be anyone you want to be. You can start fresh when you go to college. No one has to know about the juvenile arrests, the group homes, or even that you were a foster care child unless you want them to know. Just remember, you can be anyone you want to be, it's up to you, you just have to keep it together and get through the rest of this week. If you can get through this week, take your finals, then you are on your way to having a bright, new, fresh future."
They drove back to the group home. On the ride to the group home all Love thought about was Ms. Armstrong's words to her that, "she could be anyone she wanted to be."
It was close to midnight when they arrived at the group home. Ms. Armstrong gave the night supervisor the same story she told Love she was planning on telling them, about the college orientation and social dinner. The night supervisor said, "that's good to know we got a call from her sister's foster home saying they had thought she may have ran away to see her sister".
Ms. Armstrong said, "well I did allow her to call because we thought if we had time so would run her by there for a visit after the dinner, but it just got too late."
The guard knew Ms. Armstrong's and never questioned her explanation. As the night guard escorted Love back to the girl's sleeping quarters, Ms. Armstrong whispered to Love, "remember – you can be anyone you want to be."
The next time Love saw Ms. Armstrong was at her high school graduation. Ms. Armstrong had made arrangements for Hope to attend Love's graduation also. The day before her graduation Love had her emancipation hearing at the courthouse. She was now a free woman and considered an adult at sixteen. She had successfully made it through all her finals, receiving A's in all her classes, and she was offered several full tuition scholarships. She had decided to accept Harvard's scholarship offer, but she had not told Ms. Armstrong or Hope the good news yet. She knew how excited they were going to be and she was saving the announcement for the going away dinner that Ms. Armstrong had planned at her home.
After her emancipation hearing, Love thanked her court appointed lawyer and left the courthouse feeling like a free woman. She was filled with the expectations of a better future. Love had over a thousand dollars in her suitcase, along with a suitcase full of brand new clothes, thanks to the relationship she had continued with the security guard at the group home. Love had threatened to tell the guard's supervisors and his wife about what had happened. He knew if Love told he would not only lose his marriage but also his new job as night supervisor. So, in return for Love's silence the guard used all his travel points on his credit card to purchase Love a first class plane ticket and he brought her new clothes for college.
Love felt no remorse for bribing the guard. She thought the asshole deserves it! Love had totally found a way to ignore her conscience. She had become a master at rationalizing every little dirty deed she did. She had also become a master at manipulating people. The cheating guard couldn't wait for Love to go off to college. He had went from taking advantage of Love to now being bribed, threatened and used by her. He feared that at the last moment Love might contact his wife and tell his supervisors at the group home, just to spite him.
On Love's last day at the group home he slipped her an envelope with all the money she had demanded and more. Love whispered to him, "it was a pleasure doing business with you. Quid Pro Quo, right?" After that day the guard never heard from Love again.
Love checked herself into a very fancy hotel in the city after her emancipation hearing. She went shopping and she brought some gold bracelets for Ms. Armstrong, and Hope as going away presents. Love thought, "everything was looking up." And she couldn't wait to fly first class and see what all the fuss was about.
Ms. Armstrong, and Hope had assured her that everything was fine with Hope. All Love could think about was Hope coming to stay with her during holidays at college, and that one day the two of them would share an apartment together.
The next morning at Love's graduation, Hope told Love she was just feeling sad and sick on the day she had called her up crying over the phone. Love never told Hope what she had to do in order to run away that day. She didn't want Hope to feel she was the cause of what had happened to her, and also Hope was just too young to hear about such things.
After the graduation ceremony they all went to eat brunch and they agreed to meet back up at Ms. Armstrong's house that night for dinner at 8pm. Ms. Armstrong explained that she had some business to take care of at work, and that she would pick up Hope to bring her to her house for the going away dinner with Love that night.
Love went back to her hotel room and she took a long bubble bath and fell asleep on the plush king size bed watching TV. She thought to herself, this is the life, and she made a quiet promise that this was going to be her life no matter what she had to do to get it.