psyche

one

Out of sheer excitement Dean woke up twenty minutes earlier than what her alarm had intended for her. The endless possibilities that entailed her senior year of high school swarmed her mind as she showered, her mind too occupied to wander on to any other thoughts. The new connections and adventures she'd look back on in the future and smile at, the insurmountable joy that would come along with the endless senior activities, but most importantly the progression of her life in her journey through womanhood. Her routine of grooming and dressing seemed to go by in an electrified haze as she was finished before she'd even realized. The drive to school was just as swift with the help of her daydreams of the future; life after high school.

Dean parked her car in the same space she'd parked her car for the last two years. Quickly checking her teeth in the rearview mirror and reapplying her lipstick, she grabbed her purse and got out of the car ignoring the smiles and waves of her former classmates.

She made her way over to the cafeteria where she met her boyfriend, Jesse, underneath the large oak tree that served as their meeting place. As usual, he was too occupied with his friends, exchanging stories of the soccer summer camp he and his teammates attended. This did not come as a surprise to the overtly optimistic girl, this was the subject of all of their conversations regardless of the season or camp. She knew her place and knew she did not fit in this one so after giving Jesse a chaste kiss goodbye she made her way to the office to pick up her class schedule.

Her class schedule was now the cause of the blanket like anticipation that wound her mind up so tightly. Despite having the schedule committed to memory from the previous senior orientation, she raced to the office to retrieve what would be her third copy.

Looking at the schedule and actually using it as a guide was another senior milestone for her. She looked through the alphabetized folders for her schedule and clutched the slip of paper to her chest as she made conversation with the kind ladies that worked at administrators of the school office.

Beau woke up to the pounding sound of her alarm clock. Her body was filled with dread as she slowly rolled out of bed and slipped her feet into her bedroom slippers. She sat at the edge of her bed for a few moments as she came to terms that she would have to attend school. She coached herself into getting up and after some quick stretches of her limbs she found herself in the bathroom.

She starred at her tired face in the mirror as she familiarized herself with the pitiful reflection that starred back at her. With a yawn and a shrug of her shoulders she began washing her face, the rest of her routine dragging out through the early morning. Once she was dressed and had the pleasure of enjoying a mundane bowl of oatmeal, she hopped on her bike and headed to school. Each pedal she hoped would take her in any direction but the one she was headed in.

Beau felt a pinch of sorrow and embarrassment as she rode into the student parking lot on her father's nearly rusted over mountain bike. Her family had enough money for the house, just not the other luxury accessories that would usually come along with owning such property. She locked her bike up on the rack which held no other bikes but seemed to serve as a meeting spot for a group of younger kids. She hoped they could not feel the waves of humiliation that threatened to drown her. Scurrying away from the rack, she followed the signs that's led to the front office.

Although she made it to the office Beau was lost. Knowing nothing about the school or it's operations made her feel as if the world was just one big unfamiliar place in which she did not belong. She took a deep breath and decided to watch the other students in the office and figure out from their actions what she was supposed to do. She watched the groups of chattering teenagers approach folders and retrieve slips of  papers which she presumed to be the class schedules. When the area was clear she too got her schedule. She reassured herself, congratulated herself for completing that checkpoint.