I Hate Everything About You||KiriBaku

2: Ignorance Is Key

A/N: I made the mood-board above and in the last chapter but credits to the owners of all the pics in its

—X—x—X—

My eyes squeezed shut, I stood with my hands on either side of the sink in the disabled toilet of the cafe.

After making sure that the door was firmly locked, I had collapsed into a ball on the floor and released whatever new demon had been clawing at my chest, sobbing into my knees.
I had no idea what had even brought on this bout of tears, just that as Kaminari handed me my drink and sat down opposite me, a lump formed in my throat that I knew I wouldn't be able to get rid of under my boyfriend's gaze.

So I had excused myself to the bathroom, cried on the floor for a couple minutes, and now here I was, attempting to compose myself and bury the confusing sadness I felt deep within me.

I stared at my reflection in the unclean, corner-cracked mirror, my body shaking uncontrollably; my hair, half a dirty red, half jet-black as it grew out from the roots, hung lifelessly, unkempt and sad on my shoulders as it framed my shallow face, my olive skin seemingly paler than it had been in a while and my cheekbones slightly more prominent. My eyes, now a little puffy from crying, were bloodshot and enclosed by lilac circles from lack of sleep, however other than all that, I appeared healthy enough.

See, I knew how to take care of myself on the outside; I shaved and I regularly worked out, and I ate decently enough - but it was the inside that hurt. It was the inside that was keeping me awake at night. It was the inside that was swirling with regrets and grief and monsters of the worst kind.

So I just had to flash my abnormally spiky teeth in a wide smile, and hope everything would be alright.
For everyone else, that is.

I breathed out a large sigh, and began attempting to comb my hair with my fingers, tugging at the tangles.

Eventually, I managed to pull it all to the back of my head, and tie it with a hair elastic into a knot. I quickly admired it in the mirror - messy, but decent enough - before leaning down to splash water on my face.

After drying my face on the sleeve of my shirt, I took a deep breathe, and walked out of the toilet.

I caught sight of Kaminari at our table in the corner, his thumbs almost a blur as he speed-texted on his phone.
He looked up as I walked over, putting his phone face down on the table as I approached, and grinned cutely at me.

'Hey babe!' He said cheerfully, and I smiled back at him. As I sat down, I noticed that my phone was beeping non-stop.

I picked it up and said, 'You're not spamming my phone with fortnight conspiracy theories and cat memes again are you?'

'Hah, nah Kiri,' He flashed another cute grin at me. 'Yaomomo's organising a class reunion at that Black Horse place this Saturday, everyone's just going a bit nuts on the group chat.'

And sure enough, as I peered at the lock screen of my phone, a chat called 'Class Reunion' had blown up with messages from the countless classmates that I still had saved in my phone - despite not having contact with many of them for a while, I hadn't had the heart to delete their numbers.

As I opened my phone to peer at the messages, fiddling with one of my earrings as I did so, Kaminari pushed a plastic cup towards me.
'Got you your protein shake! Mango and banana's your favourite, right?'

Looking up, I took the straw between my teeth and sipped on the energy-packed smoothie. In actuality, my favourite was raspberry, but I couldn't say that to Kaminari's beaming face.
So I smiled. 'Yup! Thanks!'
He made a content humming noise in return, sucking noisily on his own straw, quickly snatching up his phone as it buzzed.